Nothing spectacular. Certainly nothing that would cause me to break my blogger silence specifically. Not really noteworthy at all since it's already snowed here a couple of times this season. The cats don't like it, that's for sure. I'm sure my dd is excited by it. She's having a sleepover at her grandmommy's house. She would be more excited if a couple of feet of the stuff got dumped on us.

Quick update since August? Cancer gone. Mammo good. Uncle Nibble gone missing. Back on D Therapy. Dd loves her new school but has a 50 minute bus ride twice a day. I feel like I'm at death's door. I feel like the next step I take one of my leg bones is going to snap in two and the splintered end will rip through my skin. How's that for a visual? Beating my fists against my thighs used to help alleviate the pain but it doesn't anymore. I remember back in the 80s when I was tending bar or cocktail waitressing, the pain would be so intense at the end of a 10 hour shift. My boyfriend would massage my legs with a rapid karate chop motion that would drop the pain back to tolerable. 20 some years later and I still don't know what's causing it. My new doctors aren't likely to find the cause either. They couldn't even find my file the other day.

That's about it for the update. I donated to Locks of Love again a couple of weeks ago. Easy come, easy go. I'll be ready to donate again next year around this time. My hair grows incredibly fast. Which is not really that great when you consider that it grows incredibly fast everywhere.

So, there you go. Mundane, depressing, and way too graphic. Will try to be more upbeat next time. ;o)

Dh got his call from the doctor this morning. One of the three biopsies came back positive for basal cell carcinoma. His appointment is August 20th. I remember when my mom had a skin cancer removed from her face. It took a long time to heal. I guess I'm lucky I inherited my olive skin tone from my dad. Although he also had a skin cancer removed years ago. I really feel for dh. I know he's worried but he's being very cavalier about it.

I haven't heard from the imaging center about my mammogram so.... I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that.

I've got a mammogram scheduled for this afternoon. I'm not looking forward to it. Not the pain, nor the intense scrutiny. Last time I went they "found something". I explained what a mammogram was to dd and couldn't help elaborating a bit. I told her they would squish my boobs until they were like fruit rollups. Her eyes got so big. Oh, the things she has to look forward to.

And if the mammogram won't be painful enough I'm taking dd to get her hair cut short today. The kid looks like she got dreds the hard way. Impossible to comb.

Dh left me a grocery list a mile long with instructions to fill the gas tank AFTER I get them so we'll get the full discount. We finally got our $50 gas card from expedia and it'll expire in August.

Mom called yesterday. Apparently my brother pulled another fast one on her. He told his step-son it would be alright for him to live there on their property without consulting them at all. The guy just showed up and moved in. Mom and Dad had never met the guy. He came up from Florida with no money, no job. A total stranger. Nice. Meanwhile, the other brother turned the greenhouse into a lab and he's playing with hydrogen molecules. "Look Ma, I can blow shit up!" They're one step away from being "film at 11:00".

For the past few days I've become nauseated everytime I've eaten something. Dinner was lovely tonight. We had fried zucchini, sauteed noodle beans, jasmine rice and lemon/dill tuna. Now I feel like I'm going to spew. Yesterday we had fried yellow squash with onions and angel hair pasta with sausage and red wine sauce. I had to force down a few ginger snaps after a couple hours of breathing shallow and clenching my teeth. I hate to barf. It finally did the trick. I don't know what the hell my problem is. It would be nice if it resulted in some loss of poundage.

I made a couple loaves of banana bread the other day. They turned out great. I didn't have any applesauce so they had the full compliment of oil and seemed a bit on the heavy side but still tasty. I exchange one cup of flour (in a double recipe) with 1/2 cup wheat bran and 1/2 cup raw wheat germ. I exchange 1/2 of the oil with unsweetened applesauce. Great for breakfast. I usually cut the sugar by 1/2 cup as well. The secret is to let the bananas get absolutely black....almost liquid. I used to buy the freckled bananas just for making bread but now the store won't sell them to me. The guy at Kroger said it was against the law. I think he's full of shit. Maybe if I took him a loaf of my high fiber banana bread....

We finally painted the walls in the hallway. We've only applied one coat and I know I'll have to throw on another. I'm considering a colourwash with another colour but haven't convinced myself that the walls are "too" chrome yellow yet. I like yellow. I wanted a butter yellow but got margarine yellow instead. It still looks infinitely better than it did before.

Did a lot of work in the garden this morning. I planted a big block of mesclun and lettuce and put one of the chicken runs over it so the girls wouldn't destroy the bed. They were practically salivaing, if a chicken can salivate, over the fine tilth of the soil. Got up this morning and saw the ass end of the dog sticking out from under one of my hosta plants. He can have the bamboo bed. He can't destroy that. The craters in there are huge already. But no. He wants everywhere else, too.

More later. Gotta go figure out what to do with the squash tonight...

I'm still peeling from the sunburn I got on my chest while in Williamsburg last week. I've gone from a D cup to a B cup. Pretty soon I'll be down to my shoulder blades.

That was Monday. Dh had his doctor's appt and came home bleeding copiously from one of the biopsy sites. He is afraid of needles. Afraid of razors. Probably just plain afraid of pain. Not a good day for dh.

The doctor originally said they would do the pathology labs there in the office and would call him the next day. Dh called and was told that they decided to ship them off to a different lab and they'd get the results back in two weeks. Not a good day for dh.

Yesterday the water heater thermostat started to fail. Hot water was practically boiling at the tap. Let's just say that dh doesn't handle stress very well. He was rude to a telemarketer who had the misfortune to call while he was contemplating the cost of a new heater. He's never rude to telemarketers. Won't even hang up on them. He definitely snapped at her. It was surreal. Not a good day for dh.

I went to Lowes today for the lower thermostat replacement. Picked up the upper one as well. Picked up a can of paint while there, too. There were two cans of unmarked mistints. I took them to the counter where 3 clerks were milling around. I just needed the tops popped off but I had left my opener at home. They took the lady with the two kids and the "if Martha can do it so can I" look in her eyes first. She wanted 3 cans of paint mixed but wasn't quite sure on the 3rd colour. I figured one of the other clerks could pop the cans for me. Uh...no. It takes two people to mix a can of paint apparently. The big guy, who wouldn't have looked any stranger if he had an axe wedged into his frontal lobe, was there to provide the muscle. I guess.

The 3rd clerk was some chick with black fingernail polish. She opened the lids just enough to get some paint to dab on the lid. She practically huddled over it so I couldn't see the contents. The first can was "cookie crumb". I figured it would be tan, or taupy or butterscotch. Something cookie-ish. It was white. Some mistint.

The second can was violet something or other. I decided to take it for dd's room. A $31 can of paint for $8. What the hell, right? She put it in the shaker for me. While I was waiting on this $8 mistint, the lady with the 3 cans of paint finished, a woman requesting 2 samples mixed was taken care of, an old geezer got his can of paint mixed and shaken and decided to get a couple cans of primer, too, and a guy came in with a 1x2 piece of trim and wanted a colour match. He got a little testy with her because she didn't quite understand what he wanted. The other two clerks had bugged out. Maybe they didn't like the look of his stick.

The chick went to shake someone else's paint and discovered my can of mistint in the machine. She hauled it out and said, "Sorry. I forgot about you." Lovely. "Yeah", I replied, probably about as testy as the guy with the stick. Of course, when I went thru checkout it rang up as $31 and I had to wait for a manager to come override the register.

When I got home I threw myself into one of my new lawn chairs on my work-in-progress stone patio only to discover that one of my underwires had snaked itself out from under my boob and was poking out of the top of my shirt like a cobra. You'd think I'd notice something like that. The list to the right should have given it away. Not a good day for me.

It looks like I'm back to my 5 hour nights even though I'm taking Ambien. I'm really tired. I met Kira and fam (fellow Pegger) at Rockwood park this morning and we walked the mile and quarter trail by the nature center before it got too hot to move.

I went straight home and started watering the garden....hauling buckets after buckets of water from the rain barrels to the garden. Dd pitched in unexpectedly. The plants sure were thirsty. Pulled some weeds, tried to divert the cucumbers from taking over the stringbean teepee, and harvested a handful of lemon cukes which were quite tasty at lunch.

After I couldn't haul anymore water I went inside and baked two loaves of zucchini bread. They turned out perfect! Then I went back outside to help dh set the patio stones. I decided to fill in the craters that the dog had dug around my peonies. I dug up one of the peonies as it had become entwined with a bamboo root and Tuco had pretty much dug all the dirt from the roots anyway. I doubt it'll live. It didn't bloom this year anyway. Then I mulched the filled holes and laid stone around them. And then to really seal the deal and totally piss off the dog I rolled chicken wire over the area and held it down with bricks. Tuco stayed away. However, the chickens thought it was an open invitation. Apparently. I wonder where I can get some cheap razor wire?

Then it rained. I filled every bucket I could find from the rain barrels hoping to make room for the runoff. I got soaked. Unfortunately the rain barrels didn't get filled again. Dh and I sat under the beach umbrella and discussed the patio and various other things while it rained.

I came in, took a shower, cooked dinner, helped dd with her bath, found the ICY HOT for my decrepit husband, and ironed some shirts. I watched a little tv with dh and then Toast started yelling from the other end of the house. He wanted to play. He had his pumpkin but didn't have anyone to throw it for him. He's such a cute cat. Cute, heavy, long haired, with an impeccable sense of poor timing. Good boy.

Ambien still isn't kicking in. What the hell? I need to sleep at least 10 hours solid I think. I've got way too much to do. Dh has a list for tomorrow. *sigh*

Today started out nicely enough. I woke up and just lay in the bed feeling the smooth sheets and the springy soft pad beneath. Grendal decided to join me for a cuddle. Then Smudge came in and started shifting things around. When that happens it's time to get up.

Dh & I decided to install a stone patio in the shade under the maple tree. We bought $80 worth of field and flagstone slabs. Not enough for the job but a start. Came home and proceded to take up the sod in the area. Not too difficult since it was mostly dirt and scrawny half dead grass anyway. It went pretty quickly. Chickens thought it was great. Dog thought it was "instant hole". There he is writhing in wild anticipation. We had to call it quits at this point because it was time to get ready for our "counseling" session with dh's parents. Dh begged me to go with him so I did. I will support my husband at any cost. This time it was my reputation.

We drove up to Ashland somewhere to try and reconcile our differences. FIL's accusations were really "out there".

He didn't like how dh ate his dinner in his room....20 years ago.

He said we stole a bottle of booze from him. He said he saw a liter of bourbon with a LV tax stamp on it in one of the bedrooms and just knew it was his. (We do not keep our alcohol in the bedroom nor do we drink bourbon.) But he just admitted to poking around in another part of the house when he said he was going to the bathroom. (Actually he refused to say that we stole it. Just that "someone stole it and it ended up at your house".

He said I hacked his computer and messed up his stock portfolio.

He said I stole his pennies.

He said that dh kicked him out of the stock club that the family used to run. (He probably changed his email address and didn't tell us.) He thinks that Greg, his wife's brother, was making fun of him on it.

We were at the top of the list of suspects in the theft of $10,000 that was taken from his house. The maid did it and was arrested. He says he didn't "accuse" us of that but he did think of us.

He says we took his old computer and gleaned all of his stock information off of the harddrive and that would give us access to his stock accounts online. (He gave us the monitor only.)

This is all from a man whose own family won't have anything to do with him. Dh is just his step-son. I told him I was there to support my husband and Kathy because that's what families do...they support each other. But that he wasn't family and he practically yelled "You got that right! I'm not family!"

He mentioned Dh's cousin Christie. Apparently she didn't speak to fil at the last family party. He took great offense at that. He said "Well, I was standing right there and she spent five minutes talking to her granddad!" Well Hell's Bells! How dare she talk to her actual grandfather and not blow him off to talk to....um....her aunt's husband?

He got pissed a year or so ago because one of Dottie's kids didn't speak to him either. Kathy had to go to Dottie and tell her that her husband felt disrespected by her boys (who are grown up and out of college now) and Dottie had to get the boys to speak to him. Robby, the fil, expects everyone else to make the first move. If you don't approach him and engage him in conversation he'll pout in the corner and then bitch at Kathy on the way home about what assholes there are in her family.

And in order for this to be resolved and to have us and dd back into their lives as a family, all we have to do is....

wait for it

Apologize to him! Half the accusations he flung at us today we'd never even heard about. The stock market game hasn't been running for quite a few years. But he's pissed because he was taken off of it through his own actions. The computer gift really threw me. He never gave it to us. I didn't know anything about it. That was supposedly 9 years ago I guess.

He said we used his AOL account and ran up over a $1,000 in overtime charges.

He said his new ISP says someone else is using his account, too. According to him. The counselour suggested that they have a computer specialist come out to OUR HOUSE and search MY COMPUTER for any of his files. Dh agreed since we have nothing to hide. I refused. I don't like the fact that they think they can invade my home and paw thru my private files and that I'm supposed to allow it in order to defend myself for something I didn't do just to appease that asshole. No way in hell.

I left the room, picked dd up in the front room where she was quietly reading her book, and we left. We walked down to biglots. Dd wants to know what was going on but it's hard to know how to handle this. The meeting broke up at an impass and dh found me in no time. We came home and I made zucchini latkes for supper. They were pretty tasty.

And now my ambien has settled around my ears and I need to go to bed.

I guess I really am the Master of Chaos.

This little guy paid a visit to the catfood bowl on the front porch one evening. Either he was really hungry or the catfood is just that yummy because several of the cats were sitting around watching him. He wasn't too interested in me either. He ran to the edge of the woods (i.e. front yard) once but came right back.

I usually see opossum out there so this was a treat for me. He hasn't been back though. I guess that's good. We really don't need Cujo the 'coon hanging around.

Today I got a free pickup load of wood chips from a listing on Craig's List. It was a humongous pile and we barely made a dent in it. The guy told us to come back for more if we wanted it. I unloaded it and filled the walkways in the garden. It looks great! I also mulched part of the area around the fishpond (and finally planted one of the dianthus flowers there).

It was Skippy's birthday today....Friday the 13th. How appropriate. He's 37 years old. He's catching up to me. Yesterday I was 9 years older than him. Now I'm only 8. ;o) I got him a book on the history of the Tour de France from 1903-2003. He loves that stuff and can rattle off all sorts of trivial stats on it. I can remember the highlights but really only watched it because of Lance Armstrong.

Had some drama with the neighbour who accused dd of tearing up his garden. She wouldn't. I'm not one of those parents who think that their little Throckmorten can do no wrong. She's capable of doing bad things and lying. This time I think she's covering for the guy's granddaughter who is a spiteful little kindergartener.

Today was also the last day of school. Dd is officially a 3rd grader now. The husband and I were playing a joke on her about her report card, telling her she didn't pass and will be stuck in 2nd again and she burst into tears. "I was really looking forward to going to Winterpock with Ben!" she cried, tears rolling down her sweaty little dirt streaked cheeks. Geez.

I went on a tear today. Mopped the bathroom and kitchen floors. Scratched out some grout. Vacuumed the rug so much it kinda sorta melted a big patch out of it. Seriously. I've had that rug for a long long time and I love it. I can't even turn it to hide the burn. *sigh* I wiped down some of the woodwork. I rearranged the sewing room and can't understand why I didn't arrange it like that a long time ago. It looks so much better and bigger. :scratches head: I washed all the dishes. Dusted. I fried up a mess of cabbage for dinner. I answered my emails. I filled out some paperwork.

I'm really tired.

Or do you make excuses? When was the last time you picked a piece of trash off the ground that wasn't yours? I admit that I've been rather lax about trash pickup in my sub. Let's face it...some of my neighbours are pigs and it's easy to succumb to feelings of futility when I clean up the ditch in front of the same house over and over again. I mean, why bust my ass using a RAKE in order to make my carbon footprint smaller when everyone around me is filling the air with noise pollution and greasy clouds of burning oil from their leaf blowers? Why bust my ass lugging buckets of captured rain water to the garden when the neighbour is "powerwashing" the grassclippings from his front yard during a severe drought? Not a single soul in my subdivision dries their laundry on a clothesline except me. Don't they realize that solar power is free? That sunshine actually kills germs and will make their whites whiter? According to Kim McKay and Jenny Bonnin in their book True Green, an electric clothes dryer generates more than 6.5 pounds of greenhouse gases per load.

I know I'm standing on a soapbox and beating my chest but people have to start making their own micro efforts because big business sure as hell ain't gonna do it until the government forces them. And the government isn't likely to force the issues if those in power are making money while raping Mother Earth.

Please do what you can.

How about 'ugh'. Took the kidlet to a roller skating party today. It's blistering outside. It's got to be about 100. Drop dd off and go to Kohls to return a skirt I got yesterday that was too big. (Yay! I'm losing weight!) Anyway, the place is packed but nice and cool. We return the skirt and once again hit the blistering parking lot. On to Lowes. I like Lowes. I'd go there everyday if I didn't care what people would think. Dh decides to turn the a/c on in the truck. The truck drops to a crawl. Very sluggish. It feels like a shopping cart with a wonky wheel. I hop out to see if we have a flat. Everything looked ok. Dh pulled out onto the main drag and the truck kept jerking to the right. WTF? We pull off the road again and there's smoke pouring out from behind the front right wheel. It smells like burning tires. Dh drives it across the parking lot and it seems ok. We decide to try to get to the Firestone place down the road. We get out into traffic and crack! Something went south. We limped to Ukrops so we could use their phone book. We usually keep one in the car and the truck but dh must have taken it out recently.

Long story short. Our truck was broken down. Dd was still at the skating party. We needed to get the truck towed and get home to our other vehicle all in an hour. There are no cabs down here. No public transportation. The birthday boy's mom called us on the cell but we didn't hear it ringing because the towtruck guy, Jimmy, had country music blasting thru the speakers. Dh tried to call her back but couldn't get thru. Once we got the truck towed I called the skating rink and got a bunch of shit from whoever answered the phone. Finally the boy's mom got on the line and I could barely hear her. She was very nice about all of it. Jimmy was ready to take us home at that point so I told her we'd be there in a few minutes.

We got home with about 15 minutes to spare. Dh picked up the kid and called from the grocery store. There's no telling how much today is going to end up costing us. Probably about $65 for the half mile tow alone. 'ugh'

Check it out. It's a game at the bottom of this page. Scroll down and have fun.

That's what I'm doing right now. It's my specialty. Later on I'm going to put off the dusting.

That's about it. I'm a bit depressed and not really into talking to myself today.

Just took half a happy pill so maybe I'll get something done today instead of blithering around, starting 100 things and finishing nothing as usual. Not much to do in the garden. Dh put wire around one of the raised beds so it is chicken-free. Maybe the cabbage will stand a chance. Unless the pretty little white butterflies lead to their destruction. I relocated the volunteer zinnias to one side and planted the rest of the bed in peppers I grew from seed. They are super tiny. I don't know what happened this year but they just stopped growing in the cells. Very little root development and barely anything past the first set of true leaves. I may have to hoick them up and replace them with hybrids from the store. Gadzooks.

The Principe Borghese tomatoes had the same sluggish beginning. They look sturdy enough now but are way behind. Even the volunteers that survived the chickens and the cultivation and the raking are bigger and fuller. That's not supposed to happen. Thank goodness I tend to grow only heirloom plants or I would have nothing in the garden. Next year I think I'll just scatter the damned seeds in the fall and wait to see what happens. It couldn't turn out any worse! Of course, this fall I'll be building a really nice cold frame using the old windows I've saved up and hopefully I'll be able to extend the season a bit. I plan on putting the tunnel ribs back up for a winter salad garden as well. Plus, we'll have kale which is always tasty fried with garlic and onions and served with pasta. Haven't had that in a long while since the store has such poor quality. I refuse to pay a premium for limp kale with thick, heavy stalks that end up in the compost heap. Worse yet is when it is sold by the bunch and you have little choice.

I have some pinks to plant, some roses to move, some bamboo to eradicate, and some horse biscuits to spread around today (Preferrably AFTER I make some more bread) so I better get moving. Another hour of sleep would feel so good though....

Summer vacation is almost here. So far nothing has panned out. The engineering class that was oh so convenient and something the kid was really interested in has been cancelled. The timeshare exchange has gone bellyup like dd's sunset platy last week. The only thing available is in Hawaii the week after school lets out. WTH can afford plane tickets for that?

Ugh. I just fired down an underripe nectarine, drawn up and sour as hell. I have a sneaking suspicion that thing will be barrelling through my colon like an El Camino full of rednecks juiced up on Pony Millers. Good thing I've got nowhere to go for the next few hours. Hell, I've got nowhere to go for the next couple of days.

Today was the last day of the great Ukrops Coffee Social for Square Peggers. That's all I'm going to say about that.

So far I've come up with the following LOOSE itinerary:

JUNE: DC, Zoo, Maymont
JULY: Williamsburg, Shirley Plantation, Monticello
AUGUST: Beach (if anything comes available. We were shooting for Hilton Head Island but I think that's a crapshoot.), Jr. Adventurers at Pocahontas State Park for the kid, and possibly Berkeley Plantation.

So much hinges on when we'll get the beach vacation squared away. If. I see a lot of rollerskating and matinees in my immediate future.

I noticed yesterday that the lemon cucumbers have germinated. No sign of any squash yet though. Looks like I may have basil, too. Still don't know what's up with the purple sage. If I didn't know better I'd think it was getting sun scald. Maybe the chickens are fertilizing it and burning it. Chicken poo is famous for that. I just saw Pichu down there munching on the cabbage. All the cabbages are ragged on one side...whatever the chickens can reach thru the wire cage. They're almost too big for it. I don't have anything else to protect them. Sure would be nice to actually be able to eat cabbage this year. I really need to put a fence up. *sigh* Another expense. I need to make some choices. And soon.

It's raining again. How unusual. I didn't get to plant anything in the garden yesterday but I did do a lot of weeding. I've got a bunch of volunteer flowers coming up. Hope they turn out to be something interesting because it looks like they are the only things that are going to mature.
I had to stake a couple of the foxglove plants. The rain has made them so heavy. Every time I turn around the planter in the fish pond has capsized. Still no sign of the cardinal flower (lobelia cardinalis). I guess I'll have to write that off again. Supposedly an easy plant to grow. right. The astrantia failed to return as well. And the allysum (all) that I planted this spring are history. Coleus, too. They were all impulse buys anyway. Except the cardinal. I went looking for that last year.
The peonies are gorgeous. I've got a ring around them so they aren't being pummelled by the rain. The bamboo is outstanding this year. I'd like to get a few different types but it sure is expensive. Besides, I think my neighbour would have a stroke if I introduced any more invasive plants to my garden.

In other news:
Went to another podiatrist yesterday. His diagnosis was completely different from the first podiatrist but ended the same. "Bring back a couple pair of shoes and we'll fit you with custom inserts". And, of course, that'll cost another $40 just to walk in the door. No thanks. I don't know who the hell to believe. Oh, and of course, the referral confirmation from my GP wasn't there. Typical.
What else? I'm down to my pre-wedding weight. Not due to anything I did myself unfortunately. My foot has limited me greatly so I should be gaining instead. 'course, everything I do seems to have the opposite effect than what's "normal". That's the whole bizarro thing at work again.

This is what I planted yesterday:
cocozelle squash
lemon squash
striata d'italia squash
summer crookneck squash
Mexican Sour Gherkins
Sweet Basil

A couple of days before, when we had a brief break in the rain, I planted lemon cucumbers. I transplanted my Principe Borghese tomatoes, too. I hope they survive. I'm running out of the ones I put in the freezer. I also spent a great deal of time weeding around my beets. Apparently it cleared the way for the chickens for they ate every single beet leaf in sight. I keep reminding them that they aren't too old for the pressure cooker but they know I wouldn't go thru with it. Miserable birds. I'll have to put a fence up around the garden. I'll love to get all stylish and have split rail with box wire on the bottom but that won't happen. I'll probably end up stringing chicken wire around the perimeter with rebar posts. Lovely. Cheap. Dh is all about the cheap. Hells Bells, I can't even get him to spring for FREE landscape timbers or railroad ties.

I guess it's time to sow another couple rows of stringbeans. It rained this morning so I can't really get in the garden today. I did all of my weeding yesterday so nothing to do there. I guess I'll peruse craigs list to see if anyone has any mulch they are willing to part with on the cheap.

Not much to say here. I've been working in the garden quite a bit since it stopped raining. I got my truckload of horse manure (courtesy of Elaine at Hunter Lane Stables) on Friday. The chickens pounced on it immediately and proceeded to spread it around for me. Skip has been "wrapping" my path with plastic and I've been hauling out wire grass roots by the fistsful. There's no telling what kind of surprise weeds the manure will add to the mix but it can't possibly be worse than the wire grass.

I planted a mixture of melon seeds last weekend. Two more rows of stringbeans. I took the crate off of one of the cabbages to use while pulling weeds and the chickens decimated the plant. Evil rotten birds. It's a good thing they lay yummy eggs. I'm getting the tomato bed ready and should be able to put the plants out this week. The seedlings are still so small. I need to revamp my seed starting mix I believe.

I had to move some plants from around the fishpond last weekend as well. Not enough drainage. The basket-of-gold allysum is done for. The snow in summer (cerastium) is still hanging on. Barely. The chickens destroyed all of the coleus, too.

Speaking of evil birds...I can hear one squawking now. Must have laid an egg and wants to tell the world about it. I'll see if I can find some nice big juicy japanese beetle grubs for her.

Here is the story about the check as promised.

As mentioned at Square Peg I recently read The Secret. The same basic idea stated over and over again only worded slightly different from one page to the next. I borrowed the video from the library as well. Basically an audio of the book.
I've been known to have some far out ideas but at least I'm solid enough and logically inclined to appreciate that you can't always get what you want. That's pretty much diametrically opposed to the Secret's message. If you want it enough and believe you already have it then the universe will give it to you. Riiiight. So...where's my check for $500.00? (I decided to start small as the book suggested. You know, a test run sort of thing.)

I meditated (as I was sitting outside getting my daily intake of vitamin D) and envisioned myself receiving a check in the mail in the amount of $500.00. I felt the check in my hand. Saw the watermark on the paper. Thought about what I would use the money for. I was certain I would receive the check. It was just a matter of "when", not "if". I told my daughter about the check that was coming. She told Skip. Skip scoffed. He wanted to know who was sending us a check for $500. I told him I didn't know but it would be within a week. Dd filled him in on THE SECRET. (She's probably wishing for a pony, snake or little brother right now. Dream on, kid.)

On Monday I announced the check would arrive on Wednesday. I kept up the banter. On Tuesday I announced the check would arrive the next day. Hahahahaha.
On Wednesday I took the mail out of the mailbox and flipped through the group of letters. One was addressed to me. It was a check for $1,300.00. Dd flipped out. The tiny print along the right margin of the check was the only giveaway. "This is not a real check". It was a travel voucher to use if we upgraded a three day cruise that was TOTALLY FREE for Skip and I.

Funny stuff. It would have been hilarious if it was for $500.00! So, did the Law of Attraction work? I got a real enough looking "check" in the mail on the day I envisioned it. Coincidence? Or was the universe just toying with me? ;o)

Gotta type quickly before the Ambien kicks in...

On Friday I planted two short rows of stringbeans.
On Saturday I planted a block of strawberry spinach, red wing lettuce, and mache. I also sowed tatsoi between the cabbage plants. And since I had them, I planted a packet of cottage garden flower seeds along the chives border. I'm not too optomistic that anything wonderful will come out of it because it only cost 30¢ but even if one flower blooms it'll be worth it. Just like my 10¢ packet of beet seeds. ;o)

It was raining when I awoke this morning, continued to rain throughout the day, and is still raining right now. It's hard to tell where the goldfish pond stops and the yard starts. The cats are very unhappy.

I was able to apply a coat of stain to the roof of the playhouse on Saturday after soccer. Team Lightning won again. Undefeated still. It was close this time though. 2 - 1. Not their greatest victory. Anyway, Skip primed the doors and window trim. I need to get some rock to form a slightly raised foundation. I'll probably do that on Wednesday after the Ukrops coffee Social. Skip suggested I get a load of flagstone to extend the path from the patio to the garage. It's about time! I need to start taking some pictures so I'll have some decent before and after photos.

Dd went to her best friend's birthday party at Laser Quest this afternoon. She hasn't stopped talking about it. Every moment since we left she has been following me around going on and on about the laser tag. I told her to save some for tomorrow, lol. Skip walked her into the party and told me that she was the only girl there. My little tomboy. We killed time at the mall waiting for the party to wind down. Ate a steakhouse burger at BK. Extremely revolting. There was absolutely nothing positive to say about it at all. I'm not even sure it was beef.

Ok, I'm going byebye now. I'm asleep at the keyboard. Later taters.

It's getting tougher throwing tile on the wall now that it's above my head. I should be able to knock out the straight run bits in a couple of days. But I won't. That's not my style. My style is to think about it to death, and then get a wild burst of energy that is extremely short lived. I've got too many projects in the works. I'm still working on the playhouse. I got the stain a couple of weeks ago and still haven't used it. Shame on me.

I did a lot of yard work yesterday. I enlarged the planting bed by the fishpond and planted a Dwarf Alberta Spruce, some pinks, and snow-in-summer. Then, of course, I had to devise some means to protect it all from the chickens until the plants have a chance to settle in. Dd's soccer goal worked rather nicely....until the cat managed to wrap the netting around her throat. It's always something.

I moved two cedars and a holly from one bed because they were growing too closely to the brick walkway. One went into the shade garden against the fence and the other at the end of the veg garden. The holly is temporarily potted up until I can find a proper place for it. I have one bed left in the veg garden to prepare. I need to rake the big plot and get it ready for beans. I need to do that today. I've also decided to split the bed in twain by laying a brick path. We have the bricks so I may as well use them. Dh has steadfastly refused to extend the brick path all the way to the garage. It really would be nice.

That's pretty much it for the physical stuff. I'll have to save the spiritual and mental upheaval for another day. I should mention "the check" but I haven't the time right now. Maybe later after I've burnt myself out.

Dh is a real estate appraiser for the county. One day last week he had to go measure some buildings on some guy's property because the guy was building without a permit. It was a horse farm. He drove down the lane and was met by one of the farm hands. Dh explained what he was there to do and the farmhand told him he better wait for the owner since "he wouldn't like it". Dh convinced him it was no big deal and while the guy was calling the owner he went off to measure the new buildings. Minutes later the owner pulled into the lot blocking dh's car so he couldn't leave. The guy ranted about how dh was trespassing on private property and had no right to be there. Dh was driving a county car with the county insignia on the door and he was wearing what he likes to refer to as a "patch with a shirt on it" that also signified that he was with the government. The guy said that if he wasn't allowed on county property then the county wasn't allowed on his. Hmmmm...red flag there.

The guy called dh's office to verify his identity and then called the police. He moved his vehicle and minutes later two police cruisers showed up and blocked dh in again. He could have gone before the police got there but he told the guy he'd wait and in the meantime he got all the information about the buildings that he needed. Dh was blocked in at this place for an hour and a half.

Just a note here: The county does not issue cell phones or radios to the appraisers. The only reason why dh has a cell phone is because I insisted he get one in case he ever gets into a sticky situation.

When dh got back to the office his supervisor said he wasn't sure he'd ever see dh alive again. Apparently the owner of the property cannot set foot on the government complex or the courthouse without a police escort. He is banned from council meetings and public hearings. He has made threats. Dh's supervision knew this. Dh did not. He could have walked right into the barrel of a shotgun.

One of these days he's going to get killed while measuring a crackhouse.

What a trooper! She had soccer practice Friday evening. Standing water on the field and mud everywhere. The coach's son kept tripping her and soon she was soaked from head to toe. She still managed to take the ball away from him at every chance. She took the ball in the face at one point. A hard kick, too. She cried because it hit her dead on but the coach checked her out and said she had "adidas" stamped on her forehead and that made her laugh. Everyone cheered when she resumed her position on the field. She bitches and complains about soccer but once she gets her gear on and hits the field she is intense.

She will also be attending a new school next year. Her teacher nominated her and she's been accepted into the center based gifted program in math and english and will be going to Winterpock. I'm so proud of her.

Chilly and rainy here today so I won't be wallowing in the warm sunshine. Thought I'd catch up on this blog and make a few garden notes.

First, a titmouse couple has set up house in the zebra striped birdhouse on the maple tree. The wrens aren't too happy about it as they wanted it for themselves. Toast has taken a keen interest in it. He was able to launch himself from the ground and set it swinging the other day. Miserable cat.

Did some tiling yesterday while dh and dd played board games. I had to cut a few tiles to go around the supply handles. It wasn't too bad. I broke the first tile by not paying attention to my pressure points. The others snapped away easily. I love my tile cutter. :o)

Never got the chance to get the tiller in the garden. It's been raining too much lately to get in any time soon. I think it's supposed to rain for the next three days. I should get a lot of tiling done. The playhouse isn't done yet. I got it put together over the weekend but I've only primed the trim so far. It'll need to be painted and the roof sealed before we set it in the garden. I need to make some more stepping stones too but will have to wait for the rain to stop. I plan on using some broken tiles for mosaics.

Square Peg is dead. Figures it would die right after I paid hosting for the next quarter. It was quite an expensive porkchop considering. It certainly frees me up for more constructive pursuits like laundry, dishes, dusting and other exciting ventures that would otherwise suffer had the site been a success. ;o)

Spring Break is over and the kidlet has gone back to school! Her first soccer game was on Saturday. Team Lightning won! 5 - 3. Dd got two of the goals. Her playing greatly improved after her first goal. I guess she had lost her confidence over the winter. Glad to see it back. It was an exciting game. Hopefully the team will be able to get a couple of practices in before the next game. Looks like today's may be rained out though. :o( They really need the practice. There are a few first year kids on the team and they don't know what to do on the field.

Well, I'm off to find some of those exciting ventures I posted about. Dishes or laundry? Maybe I should vacuum up some of these tumbling tumbleweeds?

Yesterday I planted spinach and beets. I transplanted some liriope into the shade garden and planted two basket-of-gold near the pond. Dd and I raked up some shredded leaves (courtesy of the chickens) and put it on one of the garden beds. I'll need to till that in today.

I better get cracking on it. It's supposed to get into the 80s today.

Today was absolutely beautiful. We spent the first half playing puttputt out at Rockwood. Skip took the day off from work so we could share some quality family time. We had lunch at Mickey D's. I hate that place but the snack wraps are surprisingly tasty and I fired down 1.5 crispy chipotle BBQs and a sweet iced tea. We ended up getting four. Dh kept telling the chick that we wanted three and she kept saying she got the order but kept calling back for four so.... I hope she's not counting on McD's as a career.

We went back to Rockwood, which was now crawling with people and kids, and played another round. I got a lot of sun. I took my vitamin D hit today in pill form as well so I should be good for a bit. My legs were beginning to ache. We went over to Big Lots afterwards to see what they had in the garden section. I got a nice trough planter for $7. I whipped up a bunch of soil mix for it when we got home: topsoil, sphaghum moss, and perlite. It's now planted with firecracker flower bulbs, radishes, and mesclun. I'm eager to see what comes up.

We sat outside, drank beer, ate pretzels and played cards until the sun went down. I gave all my plants a nice shot of miracle gro and took the sun lovers outside on the deck. We even wrestled the pine tree out on the deck. It barely fits thru the door now. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with it by fall.

The garden update: I have peas. I planted them on March 6th and noticed the sprouts on the 22nd. That's pretty quick for peas this early. They're snow peas. I planted them thickly, too. I hope I get a bumper crop. We eat a lot of stirfries here.
The onions survived the winter, the horseradish is coming in thick, the chives are all over the place. The oregano is beautiful as always. Tomorrow will be a big day for the garden. Lots to do out there. Skip wants me to throw some tile on the wall, too. That may not happen tho. Not if the sun is shining. ;o)

I'm going to sack out early tonight. I have a big day ahead of me. I bought the little playhouse at Lowes today. It's a tiny little thing but it will keep the cats warm, safe, and dry and give dd something to do in the backyard. I'm rather giddy about it. I envision it nestled in my work-in-progress shade garden. Dwarfed by the leland cypress border behind and shielded by the bamboo on it's left. The maple's canopy will keep it cool. There will be a nice stepping stone path winding around the maple that'll lead to it's dutch door. A big cheery pot of impatiens will brighten up the dooryard. Right now it's painted a colour that matches the house perfectly. I am, however, thinking that a bright cheery yellow with white trim would look nice. Copper rain chains on the drip line would complete the picture.

Anyway, I've got to put it together tomorrow. I've also got to do laundry. Vacuum the house. Cut some tile. Plant spinach, beets, lettuce, and mache. Plant the bedding plants I got the other day. Clean out the chicken house and put the manure/straw in the garden. I got a big bale of compressed wood chips today at the Tractor Supply store to make their house nice and cozy. Time to open the window for them and take down their passive solar heat, too. ;o) I hope it doesn't rain.

Went for coffee this morning. Had a nice tall cup of Southern Pecan. It was excellent as always. Conversation would have made it better but we can't have everything. Maybe next time. I did make a point of saying hello to everyone I passed though. They must have thought I was a loon. ;o)

I made two exquisite loaves of banana bread yesterday. Perfect in every way. Skip has been asking for some more cinnamon swirl bread so I better make some of that today. I'll need to make another crusty artisan bread for myself with rosemary and thyme. Sounds like work.

I'm going out for coffee this morning in the hopes of meeting a lurking Pegger. More than likely I'll end up sitting alone at Ukrops but that's ok. Their Southern Pecan coffee is worth it. I hope it isn't hazelnut day.

We're still tripping in Bizarro Land. I want Skip to snap out of his funk but I'm also feeling a bit possessive of my own state of sappiness. It's been a long while since I experienced a calmness like this for any extended period of time. Recently some doubts and selfesteem issues surfaced but I successfully wrestled them into submission. I can't help how other people manifest their anxiety. If they choose to lob rocks at me I need to learn to walk away. It shouldn't matter when they're high fiving each other and laughing at their "victory". At least I'm not getting pelted with stones. The whole sticks and stones thing. Basic stuff we learned in Kindergarten. Or should have. Along with "share" and "would you jump off a bridge if all your friends were doing it?" Peer pressure is some scary stuff and it doesn't appear to weaken with age.

I met a woman the other day while our dds were playing. She introduced herself and we made small talk. And right in the middle of my sentence she looked over my shoulder and started talking to someone else. Apparently she missed those days in Kindergarten when they taught politeness and "don't interrupt". I kind of shrugged and walked away. The worst part of the whole scene was that Skip saw the whole exchange. I guess he was expecting my mood to shatter but it didn't. I sat down with him and we talked about this and that for the next hour and the woman who couldn't even fake interest in what I was saying sat alone. Kindergarten. Who knew?

Skip (dh) is afflicted with a number of maladies that are undiagnosable. His stomach won't stop growling. He keeps throwing food in it but the growling continues. No pain, just growling. His forehead keeps breaking out. He thinks he's getting thinner though he's only lost 2 lbs. He can't sleep even on Ambien and has to get up 4 or 5 times a night. (though he had no trouble falling asleep on the couch in front of the tv at 8:11 last night.) He seems depressed and anxious.

I'm still happy. More or less. I've been sleeping well. My weight has anchored at 133. I wanted it to be 125 but I just can't seem to get there (without seriously altering my lifestyle). I'm not depressed for the first time in ages. It's like Skip and I have switched places. I think some of it has to do with the fact that his best friend changed jobs and is no longer working with him. We had a lunch date last week which I thought was wonderful.

There's only one thing that has been bothering me and not even at the level it should...historically. MD members. Particularly those people who berated me for my feelings of exclusion or unpopularity, for lack of the proper word. "Oh Susan, you don't realize how many people love you and appreciate you..." Riiiight. Where were they when I was pushed out? Where are they now? Afraid to hobnob because it doesn't look good? Square Peg is practically dead and I hate to think that anyone is having a laugh at its demise.

So, I got an email informing me of the hosting deadline. I've thought about it quite a bit. I'm still undecided it seems. I like Square Peg. I like messing around with it. But it causes me anxiety every time I log on and no one is there. So I alternate between a "why bother" attitude and a "you can't expect results overnight". But it's been 6 months. Only one local person posts at all. I've gotten lots of inquiries but no action. *sigh* I guess if I was really in bizarro land then the board would be wildly successful. ;o)

The cheaper sliding drawers are much lighter weight and are easily bent. Not much good if I have heavy cast iron cookware.

Got home right on time for the daily after school meltdown. Always a treat. So while she was crying and yelling and stomping around I decided to get dinner ready. Fried cabbage and onions. Steamed broccoli. Jasmine rice. Stir-fried chicken in a sweet & spicy sauce. It was on the table at 6:30 and I was out the door to the horticulture seminar at 6:45.

Got to the seminar right on time. Packed house. Very serious people all hoping to get THE SECRET. Except the couple next to me of course. The guy apparently knew everything there was to know and wanted his girlfriend to know he knew so he talked thru the entire seminar. He asked the speaker a question and then started talking to his girlfriend while the speaker was answering him. He was saying "see, I told you..." Idiot. I was leaning forward to hear the speaker with a finger jammed in my ear to drown them out and they didn't get the hint. Or more likely didn't give a shit.

The seminar was very informative and lasted two hours. Dd was still awake when I got home and I went thru the bedtime routine with her. I set about finishing my chores for the day. I turned the dryer back on since the clothes were still damp. Noticed that dh had taken all of his clothes out and put them away. I had to go retrieve them from his dresser because they were still too damp. He said they were "dry enough". gah. Men.

So, either it was a pretty good day or I'm getting numb to the stuff that usually sets me off.

Getting dd off to school was its usual nightmare. I had planned on going to the westend for a meetup but that didn't happen. The best laid plans yada yada yada.

I had my teeth cleaned yesterday by the Marquis deSade. I couldn't bite down at all. My tooth was killing me. This morning I lost a tiny chunk of tooth from somewhere. Maybe it was someone else's left over tooth that was glued on the icepick they use to "explore".

I've got to hurry here. I'm crashing. I got some books out of the library on how to be a better and nicer person. I'm running out of options already. How long should one try before giving up entirely?

I did some shopping at lowes. I picked out several plants I want and a nice heavy sliding basket drawer for the pots in the kitchen cabinet. They have the super heavy duty nice ones and the economy which aren't that bad but they are much lighter weig,

cra[ i gotta ocme back to this i'm fried. britney cocktails

...then you should find a better proxy.

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Today was pretty nice. I had a dental appt and then I met dh for lunch. I don't know how to explain it...I felt like I did when we first started seeing each other. I couldn't stop smiling.

I had a cup of my favourite coffee, Southern Pecan, too. My lucky day. I drove down to the goodwill to see if I could score any neat dishes. I really had to restrain myself. There were quite a few Homer Laughlin pieces that I really wanted but couldn't bring myself to pay $9.25 for a single plate. Quite a few Buffalo China cups, as well as some Shenango cups.

After that I went to Pleasant's Hardware and picked up an ultra cheap towel bar for the closet door. I've been looking for one all over the place. Of course it doesn't fit the closet door but I'll use it in the laundry. The bar is thin enough to accept a clothespin and I mainly wanted it to clip gloves and mittens and scarves so they could dry out and dd could get them herself.

When dh got home from work we took the dogs out for a walk around the block. I noticed that my hosta plants have broken ground already. The lilac is purpling up. The vinca is blooming. I guess it's about time I should head down to the Berry Farm to get some bedding plants. They opened last Friday. Now I just need for the soil to dry out a bit. I can't wait.

My hands are so dry they're like velcro. I hate that feeling. Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous! I planted peas. I also hoed up one of the raised beds, the one I use for the drying tomatoes. The chickens loved it. They gorged themselves on worms and then sunbathed in their dusting hole for awhile. They sounded so content talking to each other in their sing-songy way. The cats raced around chasing each other and rolled in the dirt. Each clump was an adventure. After it rains I'll go plant my spinach and mache. It felt so good having the sun beat down on my back, the sweat running down the side of my face.

I emailed dh at work and suggested he come home and share the afternoon sun with me. He had an appeal at 2:00 but surprised me by walking in the door before 3:00. I made a big bowl of popcorn and we sat outside, had a few beers and played a round of 3-13. Dd was in a good mood as well when she got home from school. She wanted to play some computer games and that occupied her for quite some time.

Dh and I took the plastic sheet off of the goldfish pond. It'll probably fill up with the fuzzy red maple blossoms now. I need to do some planting around the pond to make a leaf barrier. The liriope seems to do the trick quite well.

I love spring.

Loropetulum to be specific. I went in search of a witch hazel, that bright yellow shrub that wakes up in the dead of winter, and found this:



Also a witch hazel. I've never seen them in any other colour before. Of course, the fringes were already dried and falling off the bush but it was interesting none the less.

Another interesting shrub was the Symphoricarpos orbiculatus or coral berry. Beautiful berries but the plant looked leggy and sparse. I would rather have interesting foliage although the berry colour does pack a wallop.



Southern States didn't have a very good selection of evergreens yesterday. I was looking for a threadleaf cypress but they didn't have it. I'll have to check at Lowes and see if they have any plants out yet. At least they are guaranteed. I also need to pick up some more cement for my hypertufa project. I'm itching to get started on that. Gotta finish the tiling first though. That seems to be taking forever! Looks like it's going to rain so I'll put up a few more courses today. I've finally gotten to a point where I need to start cutting some tiles. That's always fun. Now, where did I put that tile cutter?

I'm on the verge of doing something but i'm not sure what.
I went to the podiatrist today. $40 right up front. He poked, bent, and twisted my foot this way and that. Said I had strained my whatchamacallit tendon. For $99 he'll make me some arch supports that slide in and out of shoes. My foot hurts pretty bad tonight. Probably from all his poking and prodding.
Man, the ambien caught up quick tonight. I feel like my head is on a long stalk like Alice in Wonderland after she took a sip of 'drink me' or ate the toadstool. What ev.

Dd starts soccer practice next week. Thank God. Twice a week. Mondays & Fridays with games on Saturday. She has the same coach as last year. He wanted her to try out for the travel teams but we don't have the funds or the time for that. She is acting all casual about it but I caught her kicking the soccer ball around a bit yesterday. Her brownie meeting was cancelled last week. We were informed about 30 seconds after dh drove off. The cookies are supposedly coming in soon.

On to other items...I don't know if I'm going to keep Square Peg going or not. Kira is the only local on there who posts. Katie came back under a different name but she hasn't posted at all. I'm finding it extremely difficult making irl friends around here. I joined another meetup but I'll have to drive out to the westend and I'm not really comfortable out there. 'course if I get used to it we'll really be in trouble.

Peepers are out. I heard them on our nightly walk. If I can strain my ears I can just make them out. Not really but they are there.

Damn, some weird shit is happening here. I'd love to be lucid and finish my thought but I believe it is history at this point.
Gotta go. Don't forget the crap flap!

I hardly ever take these internet quizzes but this one was short and rather telling.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.3
Mind:	4.9
Body:	7.3
Spirit:	6.5
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	9.1
Finance:	7.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

My purple coneflower seeds have finally begun to germinate. Time to take them off the heated shelf and put them under the light. Nothing else in that flat has done a damned thing yet. Did some serious landscape dreaming today. Wouldn't it be great to have a tree whose falling leaves smell like cotton candy? Katsura.

I've got quite a wish list growing. Mostly grasses. They are so forgiving and easy and really quite graceful. I'm going to take a chunk of either the pampas grass or the japanese silver grass and transplant it near the goldfish pond at the side of the patio. I'd like to get some shenandoah switchgrass or muhly to go in front of it and maybe some little bluestem. The colour will go great with the coppery sedge and the vibrant red of the cardinal flower. This will replace some of the daylilies that have filled in the spot. They are coming up in leaps and bounds and I need to transplant some to the front yard. The woods edge has moved back a bit and I have an expanse of nothing. Tiger lilies would really brighten it up.

While I was out walking around this afternoon I noticed that the Shepherdia Argentea has already leafed out. I love that plant. I had a huge one at Sweet Apple and was able to transplant some of it to my parents house. Then after a few years I took a few back and planted them in the backyard. They are gorgeous. Silver Buffaloberry. Our neighbour on the other block has several, too. I really don't know why it's not more popular. Bees love it. Butterflies, too. Birds love the edible fruit which clusters up on the stem. You can even make jelly out of them.

The ambien has kicked in. I've got to brush my teeth yet and I'm afraid I might give myself a frontal labotomy while I'm at it.
What's the saying........I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy. clever.

Gaah. I had a pounding headache this morning that was even worse than the pounding headache I went to bed with and promised myself that I'd crawl back into bed as soon as the kidlet was off to school. I did. For about 2 minutes. Pip needed to go out. After tossing her out I noticed that the fishtank was a little deeper green than normal and got dressed to take care of that. I went outside, freezing, to get the gravel vacuum. I fed the chickens some corn while I was there and retrieved an egg from the coop.
Drained the tank and watered all the houseplants with the fertilizer/fish poo. Mopped up all the water that was pouring out of the plant saucers. Transferred one of the platys to a separate bowl as he didn't look too chipper. Cleaned the filter housing and filled the tank for the next hour. Back and forth. *sigh* Oh yeah, fish are so worth it. I'm just glad I don't have my big tank set up. Got all the fish squared away and discovered my filter lid was gone. I still can't find it.

Meanwhile, I glanced out the window and saw Blondie carrying something in her mouth. She spat it out and tried to gnaw on it. It was an egg. That egg sucking dog has been raiding the henhouse. I think Rocky has just started laying but this was from one of the other girls. Different shape, different colour.

My house is a wreck. It's cold. I still haven't had brekkie and the bread dough is ready to be transferred to the board. This is my break.

My pussywillow is blooming, daffodils are open, robins are pumping up worms in the backyard and a couple of doves are snacking on the chicken's corn. Spring really wants to happen.

Pip is at the window howling to get back in.
Break over.

Same crap different day.
Same crap different week.
Same crap different month.
Same crap different year.

Nothing changes. Whoever said one person could make a difference is a freaking idiot.

I seeded one of the flats this morning. Finally. Sweet Bell Peppers, Purple Coneflower, Tiny Tiger tomatoes, Pink Brandywine tomatoes. The flat of Principe Borghese tomato seedlings is doing well. I move them around from sunny sill to sunny sill. The lunaria, of which all twelve germinated, are getting really leggy. I need to get them under the lights today.
I still need to sow rudbeckia and veronica speedwell. Later.

Yesterday was a picture of domestic bliss. I took the kidlet to the open skate at skate-away. OMGosh, it was like walking into "there was an old lady who lived in a shoe"... A hundred screaming kids, skating at breakneck speed in reckless abandon, in a dark room with loud rap music and the heavy smell of feet... mixed with the unpleasant aroma of melted nacho cheese on corn tortillas. Wug. Everywhere I looked I saw kids wiping snot on the backs of their hands. The place was an upholstered toilet. Dd loved it. For a short while she hung out with "Badboy Nate" from down the road. Dh & I call him "The Pisser". He's not allowed to come to our house anymore.

After about an hour of skating some kid slammed into dd and broke her skate. I couldn't fix it. She cried. We went to the pro shop to see if they could fix it. The kid in there said it couldn't be fixed and she wouldn't be able to use the skates in the rink even if it could. I was like, dude, she's been skating for over an hour already... I promised the kidlet I'd get her a new pair.

After skating we went to Goodwill. Mainly to see if they had a pair of skates that would fit dd. They usually do but they had just gotten done with a remodel and all the sporting goods stuff was gone. We got some books instead. I picked up some more restaurantware as well. I can't help myself.

It was almost more excitement than I can stand.

My principe borghese tomato seeds have finally germinated. I don't have the light table cleaned up yet. I guess I'll be doing that tomorrow come hell or high water. I prepared two flats today. I'll be seeding them tomorrow as well. I need to transplant the Lunaria seedlings already. Those things are off like a bullet. They must like my soil mix.
Dh and I pruned the pyracantha by the house. It looks like hell. I hope it fills out this spring. We also cut the dried Japanese Silver grass and the Pampas grass. It's starting to send up new green shoots.
Found lots of daffodils getting ready to open up.

Paul. OMG. I knew him back in the 80s when gravity hadn't taken it's toll on me yet. I was working as a cocktail waitress at The Tobacco Exchange and going to college for computer programming. He was a regular happy hour customer. He had smoldering good looks and was well versed in the classics. And I was an idiot. I was engaged to a cheating alcoholic who treated me like shit. Tom, the fiance, hated him and thought I was cheating on him with Paul. I didn't. I thought about it though. Often. Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm. I still have his photo. He's wearing a tux and a hint of a smile. I can still smell his cologne.

I got a card from him in the mail today. He said he "googled" me. I can't tell you how many times I've googled him over the years but never found him. We used to correspond after I graduated and moved up north. He said he found my old letters and decided to find me. I think the last time I saw him was at my old house, Sweet Apple. He dropped by one night with a bottle of wine and we listened to A Christmas Carol performed by Patrick Stewart. It was surreal. He had gotten married and was living in Georgia but was passing thru town on his yearly pilgrimage to the bay. He always seemed so troubled, in desparate need for someone to listen. He was an aspiring writer and I often looked to see if he had ever published. When I think of him, I think of Poe. That dark. That mysterious. That brilliant.
Wow.

Life goes on...

We got hit by a winter storm last night. Really. I saw it. That may be snow on the roof of the garage. I can't quite tell. I'm surprised they didn't call school off. They usually do when there is a "threat" of snow. The photo above was from our last snowstorm. Think of it as Norm's snowman on drugs. Note the large vacant staring eyes, the bedhead, the skinny arms and general lack of hygiene. He was Jonesing for sure. Within three days he was reduced to a slushy shadow of his former self. Alas, he was a product of his environment and couldn't be helped.

How quickly you look for and expect the negative. Not like me? No, it's not. But you believe the worst, don't you.

The Lunaria seeds I planted a week ago have broken ground, their little green elbows poking up thru the soil. I'm surprised. I didn't put them in the freezer. I can't remember if I harvested the seeds last fall or the year before. Lunaria seeds don't keep well, viability drops off quickly. I sowed them in a recycled mini cupcake tray from Ukrops. 12 cells. Not all have germinated yet and I don't expect all of them to make it but I have high hopes. Lunaria, or Money Plant, is a pretty little biennial with purple flowers. It grows best in shade.

None of the Principe Borghese tomatoes have germinated yet but I sowed them later than the Lunaria.

Your proxy isn't working.

Not much happening. The weather has gone chilly again. I spent hours out in the sun yesterday trying to boost my D levels. Pulled some dead weeds out of the garden. Helped dh clean up the deck. Rocky gave me an egg. I imagine she was the one who laid the egg on Wednesday as well. She was well rewarded with her favourite snack, cheese crackers.

Bought a new washing machine on Wednesday. It was delivered yesterday. Bosch. Made right here in the USA. New Bern, NC. It's supposed to take care of 27 regular bath towels in one load. I doubt it seriously but I'm hoping a dozen will work. The salesman said it used 10½ gallons of water for the cycle. An extra rinse would use 1½ gallons more. I think 27 regular bath towels would soak up every bit of 10 gallons. Whatever. Just as long as it doesn't leak like a sieve. We kept the old Kenmore. I want to take it apart and replace the seal and see if that was the problem. If so we can sell it for $100 maybe. Lowes was just going to landfill it. So much waste. I just need to wait for warmer weather. And to finish the bathroom. No more new projects until that one is done.

Dh is home from work again. He seems to be in better spirits. I hate it when he's not feeling well. He's so quiet and withdrawn.
I need to go out today. Dd needs a book on the Wright Brothers for a school project. I need to mail a package to Lefty. I promised it would go out earlier than this. I'm such a shit.

How would you describe Purple to a blind person?

What a beautiful day! Looks like everyone was out either riding bikes or walking dogs this morning. I mixed up some seed starting medium and started a flat of Lunaria. Collected seed from last year so they may not germinate. Lunaria only grows from fresh seed so it's best to plant them asap. We'll see. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I repotted an ivy topiary and a lemon button fern, too. I have a very large planter outside so I decided to put bamboo in it, underplanted with lettuce. It sure felt good to get my hands in the soil.

Mom called. Mayumi, my SIL, managed to cut her little finger off. Ripped it off actually. It couldn't be reattached. Too much trauma. Freak accident. I can't imagine the pain she must have felt. I shudder to think about it.
She also said that Brother Rick is contemplating a move back home and SpongeBob is moving back in as well. Third time's the charm with him. Maybe he'll succeed in totally destroying the property this time. He only trashed it the previous two times. Dad busted ass getting that place liveable, drilled a well, and put in a septic system. They trashed it and bugged out. He busted his ass getting it fixed again. They moved back in, trashed it and bugged out again. This time Dad had to pull up all the carpet, tear up the subfloor and replace it, gut the bathroom and fix it, actually too much to describe here. Lots of cussing involved. Lots of work. Lots of time and money. I can't wait to see how long this lasts. Still recovering from colon cancer and he has to get the place liveable for them again.

Closer to home: Tuco was at Death's Door for a couple of days. It's still touch and go. He's an old dog and winter is doing him in. But he did eat a can of food yesterday and had a little bit to eat today. He's skin and bones. Poor little hound. I think he'll be fine once spring gets here.

If someone drops a shoe in the forest and there's no one around to hear it will they know when the other one drops?

I did some work on the shower this afternoon. It's coming along. I've decided to take the easier but more expensive premixed route. I need to go to Lowes tomorrow for another bucket of mortar. I could use a new float, too. Anyway, I got a couple of courses laid and then I scratched out the grout lines on the previously laid courses. It's really starting to look like something. I'm looking forward to getting back in there.

Did a load of laundry today and dh noticed that there was a little bit of water on the floor. I figured it came from when I added something to the load after it started but it turns out that the washer is leaking. Dh took the back off and as far as I can tell the gasket around the drum is shot. This is a front loader so taking it apart to replace it is going to be a real bitch. Dh just wants to go and buy a new washer. He's easily intimidated by machines. I think we can fix it. But who am I to throw away the chance at a brand new shiny washing machine? ;o) Maybe I'll look at a few at Lowes tomorrow.

Didn't get any seeds started today as I had hoped. I got a little sidetracked with something and didn't get around to mixing the seed starter. I need to inventory my seeds and see what's still viable. I need to clear off the growing table and bring it in the house, too. I'll probably need to change out some of the lights. Last year's plants got really leggy under the lights. I think they're beginning to lose their strength. I need to devise a way of bottom heating the seed trays as well. Last year the heat pad cooked a few. Maybe if I used cooling racks and slid the heating pad under them and set the trays on top of the racks? That would probably work pretty well. No direct contact and ambient heat. Even better if I tent the table I suspect.

Looks like I have a lot to do tomorrow. I need to polish off my beer and hit the sack. Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry. Pretty tasty. I think I'll go get a couple more 6packs before Kroger jacks the price out of my range.

Dh was able to duck the film crew this year. They managed to get to his office though and took a shot of a quote he blew up and pinned to his wall. Mat 7:7 He only has part of the quote:

Seek, and ye shall find.

Dh's boss told them not to air that shot but they did anyway. Why? Because it's purpose could be misinterpreted. While it has a benign meaning to dh, when put into the news story's context it could be interpreted by the viewers as contrivance.

I guess that could happen with any quote. People see what they want to see. If they think conspiracy, they'll find conspiracy. If they feel a statement is vituperative then they will respond with vitriol. It brings to mind another great quotation:

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
Hamlet, Act II Scene ii

or, this one:

Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me. You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass; and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me.
Hamlet, Act II Scene ii

Man, Willie had it going on, didn't he?

Got an email from an MD member seeking help with her login procedure. Seems she got locked out and the contact email for MD admin was bouncing back to her. So she decided to email me. I'm drawing a total blank on that. Why? I'm no longer admin. I haven't even visited the board for nearly a month. I wonder how many other people haven't noticed that I'm no longer there? LOL, it's almost insulting. Anyway, she had CCed the message to Colleen so I'll assume she got the help she needed.

I've been working on getting a group together to go to Magnolia Grange next Tuesday. I haven't been getting very many responses one way or the other. I really don't understand that either. People contact me and say they are looking for a group and want to meet new friends but when it comes down to brass tacks very few want to actually meet up. I joined a meetup.com group a week or so ago. A group for homemakers in the area. Meetups were set up for Wednesdays at noon. The organizer of the group never posted an event. You have to pay a monthly fee to run meetups. I don't understand why someone would create a group and then fail to follow thru on it. It doesn't make sense. I guess it's like joining a board you have no intention of participating on. Why?

I took some hot water out for the birds this morning and was rewarded with a great show. A flock of Eastern Bluebirds stopped for a drink. They were absolutely gorgeous! I was only able to count 20 but there were many more flitting around that I couldn't keep up with. I took some meal worms out to them but they aren't used to me or the backyard so none of them stopped for a nosh. They were joined by a small flock of Cedar Waxwings...my ultimate favourite. What a sleek handsome bird. I'm always thrilled to see them as it happens so seldom. There were a couple of Blue Jays, a few goldfinches, a bazillion cardinals, some junkos, sparrows, and, believe it or not, some big fat Robins.

I made sure the feeder was full of black oil sunflower seeds but they really have plenty to eat around here with all the bird friendly plants I grow. Pyracantha, Calicarpa, Juniper, dogwoods, crabapple, holly, mahonia, Nandina, Burning Bush, Magnolias... I'll put some suet cakes out later. Weird, but I didn't see any Chickadees.

The rain barrel was frozen solid but the goldfish pond is totally free of ice. I have clear plastic over it with access points for the chickens, cats and dogs so they can drink. I'm surprised I haven't had the need for the heater. The plastic is held off the surface by pvc poles laid over top of the pond. Simple and effective. I saw Big Fish the other day and a group of the babies and they all seem fine.

Most of the cats are enjoying the warmth of the house again this morning. Another reason why I was blessed with the visit. Seeing those birds really lifted my spirits.

My dh and my dd and I have been together 24/7 for the past 5 days. Tomorrow he goes back to work and she goes back to school. I will be wallowing in the blissful silence. For the past couple of nights we have been joined by 7 cats and 2 dogs as well. It's been really cold outside and the poor dogs just can't handle it. Dh was able to call Blondie in but Tuco wasn't showing up. He had to go out to his house inside the garage to check on him. Seems he wrapped himself up in his blanket like a burrito and couldn't get loose. I still can't figure out how he managed that.

Anyway, I can't wait for the week to begin. I can exercise again without being made fun of. I can go out to the library, a book store, or even Michaels without being rushed. I can listen to Steely Dan or Vivaldi without comment. I'm quite excited about it.

The shit hit the fan with dd this evening. The denouement of a long weekend of brattiness. I don't want to be a bitchy mom. I want dd to have a happy childhood. She'll grow up way quicker than I did. That's just a product of the times I'm afraid. But I fear my leniency has come back to bite me square on the ass. It's time to follow through on some of my consequential threats. It's not going to be pretty. *sigh*

It's 64.4 degrees in this room. Great for the computer. Not so great for me. I've got two pairs of socks and slippers on and my feet are still cold. I look around and wherever there's a puddle of sunlight, there's a cat sleeping in it. I remember years ago at Sweet Apple I had a southfacing glass door. I'd pull my papasan chair in front of it, Goliath would crawl up on my lap and we'd snooze. Back then I was slim and trim. You might even say semi-ripped. I worked out regularly. I did chinups on the scaffolding on the side of the house. I did curls with jugs of sand. We went letterboxing at Rockwood last weekend and I couldn't do even one chinup at the health station. Blah.
Time for Billy Blanks.

at 9:21 a.m. I gave birth to my dd. My one and only. After four excruciating hours of pushing she was finally pulled from me. I swear she was hanging onto a bottom rib or something. Stubborn and unyielding. She hasn't changed a bit.
I haven't changed much either. I'm still pushing. For eight years I've watched her grow. I look at her baby pictures and I don't recognize her. For eight years I put my life on hold. Gladly. I admit I used my baby to withdraw at times. I tried to join some of the local mom groups but found most to be filled with sequacious, exhausted mothers just going through the motions so their kids would have a social life. Honestly, does a two year old really care? Does the mother get any social relief listening to someone else go on and on about another baby's croup? And every time we'd come away with another germ that would manifest itself in gallons of snot. No thank you.
So I withdrew from real life and immersed myself in the cyberspace diaper boards. We all know how that turned out. And now...here we are. What now?
Every day my dd grows a little more independent (except for the cleaning up after herself part, of course). I can't define myself as a stay at home mom anymore. I'm not sure of my role. Housekeeper? Hah!
What now?

I think I should have chosen the "starve a cold, feed a fever" route. I'm still hacking away. I'm beginning to feel the congestion now. Dh is really starting to worry. I'm in the middle of my second week of this crap and I've gained 5 lbs. I don't know how. All I've been eating is soup for the most part. And lots and lots of tea. I'm cold all the time. I guess that's why I'm packing on the poundage. I need to go to the doctor sometime pretty soon to get some blood drawn for my D levels. And it's been 6 months since my mammogram...time to go in and see if I need a biopsy. Not looking forward to that at all.
Even worse than all of that I need to go to the DMV and get my license renewed. Joy of joys. The excitement never ends.

I've been working on the front page for the website. It's nerve wracking but fun. I gave up on all the prepackaged open source CMS projects. Way too complicated for what I wanted to do. Check it out: http://www.squarepegmama.com (Just click on the title of this blog entry to get there.)
I've really got to buckle down on this if I'm going to pursue it at all. On the one hand I am so done with online communities. But on the other hand I've wanted to do something like square peg for a long time. I just had responsibilities elsewhere that demanded my time and attention. go figure.
So much time lost but that's all spilled milk under the bridge. ;o)

Man oh Man oh Man. I just discovered that we get the DIY network on tv. I usually don't turn the tv on at all during the day. I have enough distractions already tyvm. So far I've watched a kitchen makeover show, a bathroom makeover show, and now there's a show on painting techniques. Either a lot of changes are going to happen in this house or none at all because I can't tear myself away from the tv.

Actually I'm excited to get some paint on the walls of this house. Dh likes plain white walls. They kill me. I like colour! Bold, bright colours! My kitchen is a sunny yellow that I painted using a dry brush technique. Like colourwashing without the glaze. Super cheap. When dd was really little she would "hug" the wall and say it was a happy colour. I have to say the kitchen is probably my favourite room in the house.

I'm dying to strip the wallpaper off the wall in the master bedroom, the only room in the house with wallpaper. It's rather lumpy so I'm not sure what I'll find underneath. I have to finish the bathroom first, though. That means finishing the shower tiling, the floor tiling, the vanity tiling, painting the walls and hanging the fixtures. A lot of work. I'll need to squeeze some of that in before 12. There's something interesting coming on at 12. I hope this channel shows some outdoor stuff, too. I've got a lot of landscaping planned for this spring.