Well, we're definitely back. It's too stinking hot to even work in the garden. I tried. Managed to clear off another bed to get ready for the cold frame. I couldn't stop thinking about the weather in the mountains. How cool. I guess it was about 15 degrees cooler there than here. I hiked all day and didn't break a sweat. Not like this humidity around here where you sweat your ass off just standing still. A short hike to a beautiful waterfall, the cool mist rising in the primeval forest, droplets clinging to the emerald green moss and ferns that spring up everywhere. *sigh* I want to live there. Get a horse and a goat. Some chickens. I could make lap quilts and sell them to the tourists. This past vacation was our second time out there. We did all the touristy things last year like the "gem mining" and Grandfather mountain. This time was strictly hiking and enjoying the cool weather, the flora and fauna. We couldn't make a decent living there so I guess we're stuck here until the husband retires. That'll be awhile. Besides, he's set on retiring to Seattle though he's never been there. Best to ship the kidlet off to college first. She's starting 5th grade here in a bit. Her school has over 700 kids in it. The elementary school in Banner Elk, NC has 210. I don't know if I can stand 8 more years. I feel like I've been here forever. I've never lived in one place this long before. Link to Banner Elk.
Doesn't that look inviting?

Despite every muscle in my body aching and begging for a hot soak I can safely say that I have survived a week of strenuous hikes over rocks, cliffs, and vicious root systems. Blood was shed only once but I may get hit by a car on the way back to the room. You never know. knock wood. Today we ventured to Beacon Heights. Started slow with this relatively short hike.
*That bit was written last Thursday but I didn't get a chance to upload any pics until now.

Got up relatively early (for me anyway) for the continental breakfast. Looked like a bus from assisted living had beat us to it. I don't think anyone under the age of 70 is staying at this resort besides us. We snagged a couple of eclairs and headed outside. I managed to get a cup of coffee, too. On the way back to the room I grabbed an apple. You never know. We decided to go back to Crabtree Falls for a hike. We got rained out the other day. The weather today was brilliant. Not fifty yards into the trek I twisted my ankle and took a header. Bloodied up my knee and palm on the gravel path. Brushed it off with "it's merely a flesh wound" and continued on. Twisted the same ankle again but retained my footing and dignity that time. A mile later we got to the falls. Absolutely gorgeous. We found a place to sit and had lunch and watched a group of people and their dog playing in the water. Another couple was creeping down the trail as we were getting ready to leave. He looked about 80. She appeared much younger but was totally unsuited for the treacherous terrain. We found ourselves wondering how in hell they were ever going to get out of there alive. So we left because that's how we roll. The "less strenuous" 1.6 mile return loop seemed to be the best bet. It took a long time. Heart attack pending and all. I ended up twisting my left ankle as well before finally crawling to the car.
Stopped at AltaPass Apple Orchard on the way back to our room. Bought a big bag of Red Blaze apples (?) and a pound of Damson plums. Splurged on monstrous ice cream cones while watching the hive of bees sandwiched between glass. Busy as a bee has new meaning. The kidlet really hogged into her cone. Chocolate Moose Tracks all over her face. We had fun.
Finally got back to the resort...almost in one piece. Tomorrow...something easier for a change.

Ok, I soundly trounced the husband at cards. I was merciless. We switched to Scattergories and seem to be equally matched on it. That will be the pasttime for this evening while lounging on the upper balcony sipping beers and Matthew Fox wine. It may be two buck chuck, I don't know. I wish there was wifi in the room but I guess if there was a hookup the kidlet would be playing Runescape the whole week.
About the weather? The sun shone brightly all day. It's still shining at about 5:15. So much for the awful forecast. We packed lunch and hit a trail. I forgot my USB cable for the camera or else I would post a pic of the view from the top of the trail. Gorgeous! Saw lots of wild flowers, ferns, etc. We ate lunch on the summit, a wind swept barren slab of rock for the most part. Small, scraggly pine trees clung to the crevices in the rocks. I can imagine how harsh the climate is in the dead of winter.
After that we walked around a lake. 2.3 miles worth, through forest, and marshy laurel hells. We encountered a beaver colony with a series of elevated ponds. I wonder if the forest service guys pull the dams down like my dad does. They live at a 12 acre lake with all sorts of wildlife that my dad wishes to obliterate for whatever reason. My opinion: its like going to a concert and expecting it to be quiet. Anyway, it was a lovely day. I'm tired but happy. We'll have pizza for dinner, a hot shower with the Turk2000 shower head that strips off the top ten layers of skin, and then a relaxing read....Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. I wish this place still had their hot tub. That would feel good right about now. More tomorrow if I survive it.

are coming to a close. Thank Goodness. I managed to throw a few seeds into the ground before we left for vacation. The cabbage and zucchini sprouted as soon as they hit the dirt it seems. I'm in the pool house of the Blue Ridge Villages Resort in Banner Elk, NC. The kidlet is swimming in the heated pool below my window. She has it all to herself. It looks like the husband is playing some kind of solitaire and sipping one of my beers. How evil. We struck out fairly early this morning to hike to the Crabtree Falls but pea soup fog rolled in and it started to rain. It's currently about 21 degrees cooler here than at home. 69 right now. Lovely hiking weather. Except for the rain and the fog, that is. Tomorrow is calling for rain, thunder and lightning, all day and night. That's fine by me. I just love being here. We got the best room ever this time. Two bedrooms on two levels with lots of windows and balconies overlooking the lake. Awesome! We were only supposed to get a one bedroom but there was an opening that allowed us to upgrade. I was absolutely giddy!
Everything has been peachy except the kidlet got sick last night and hurled. But she felt much better right after and apparently has no lasting effects today. She'd be happy in the pool all week. I feel the need to hike though. We came here last year and the views were absolutely beautiful. I think I'd be happy living here if I didn't need to drive during winter. Guess I better close this up and get down to the pool. I feel the need to trounce the husband at cards.

I see him all the time. I've seen him for years now. I've watched him get grayer, his hairline receding a bit more as time passes. The lines around his eyes have grown deeper but the eyes have always been a bit sad. An ageless guilt, fresh as the day it was born, staring from somewhere deep inside. His broad shoulders are more rounded than they used to be, bent from years of some personal burden. He never had abs but his physique suits him. Anything more would be contrived.
"Let's do something", he tells me. "I'm tired of just sitting around." My indecision is crippling. I've no time to waste anymore. I've been stuck too long and each day Winston gets further away. Something cold and hard, akin to panic, starts to form in my gut.
I see him sometimes standing in the shade of the maple tree, watching me as I work in the garden. He smiles and my heart melts. He's waiting for me. I'm stealing his life but I'm terrified that I'll do something wrong, do something that will change him, so I do nothing. But he never leaves. His sighs are more frequent. Maybe he's gotten too comfortable waiting for me.
"Let's take the dog to the park," he suggests. "Or maybe we should check out the storm damage at the river." I nod. Maybe tomorrow, after I get the laundry done.

Have you ever met someone that you took an instant intense and, by all counts, unrealistic dislike for? When other people fall all over themselves for this person and it makes you feel like there is something wrong with you for having such a different impression? When you look that person in the eyes and you can tell that there's nothing there? No warmth, no empathy. Just a flat black hole. A vacuum that feeds off of nothing more than your presence and attention. It gives me the willies, for lack of a better word.

Opening up the bedroom window is like opening the oven door. Thunder is pounding the hell out of the clouds but they're not weeping yet. It was in the 100s again today. The cats have gone to ground and probably won't be out until the storm has passed. I spoke with my mom briefly and had to cut it short. She said they were getting hammered with rain. The kidlet is on her way to the holiday house with her grandmother and soon-to-be grandfather. I hate it that she goes off with them. I'm glad she gets to go swimming and all that but I'm really not comfortable with MIL's bf.

I went to the dentist today. He couldn't find anything wrong with my teeth. Doesn't know where the pain is coming from. He poked and rapped and blew air on them. Nothing. The delayed reaction was a bitch though. Must be like getting hit in the balls.

Monster storm underway now. The chickens probably think it's the end of the world.

I'm between books at the moment. I finished Graceling this morning. It was ok, but not good enough to make me leap right into Fire. I think I'll read Endless Night by Richard Laymon next. It's a borrowed book and I don't want the owner to think I'm keeping her novels hostage. The lights just dimmed and the cable box keeps rebooting. Looks like I'll be reading by candlelight in a few minutes. Great way to read spooky books!

I have to say that my pain threshold has been getting a workout here lately. Any more of this and I think I'd even be able to watch that scene in Marathon Man where Laurence Olivier drills a nifty hole in one of Dustin Hoffman's healthy teeth. How did it get to this point? I don't know. I guess I don't trust the dentist since every time I go I come away with a cold sore and/or the promise of expensive restoration. I really should find a new one. I keep telling myself that the pain is a result of a cold and nothing more. Even a handful of ibuprofen with an antihistamine chaser hasn't taken the edge off today though. The bone deep ache is now accompanied by sharp stabbing pains, the high pitched whistle of tinnitus and the sensation of my ears popping. Fun, fun, fun. I'd love a syringe of novacaine administered directly to the base of the skull, as long as the brain stem still functions enough for me to breathe without thinking.
I just had panoramic xrays taken by Sweeney, right before she took two or three layers of bone away with her germ riddled dental pick. A faint shadow appeared where an abscess might be beginning to form but that's on the other side of my mouth. Nothing wrong there. I've got a mental image of the dentist informing me that I'll need a root canal. He can barely contain his glee. His nerdy microscope goggles start to fog up with excitement. His wife at the front desk stops flipping casually through her Pottery Barn catalog at this bit of good news and frantically begins circling the items on her wish list in earnest. No matter the cost. Those material goods are the detritus of my very own blood and tears. Teeth don't heal. What can you do? Need a new television? Tsk, tsk, tsk. The number 18 mandibular second molar doesn't look good. We're gonna need to pop off that gold crown and dig around there some more. What's this? Hmmm... that maxillary second premolar will have to go. It doesn't hurt you say? Well, it will.
He starts humming the tune "I'm in the money".
I can feel my pain threshold growing. This isn't too bad. Not like it's childbirth or anything. Besides, chewing is overrated.

This post should be made on the Square Peg Mama blog but I thought I'd add it here, too, just to change pace from the usual bitching and moaning. I direct seeded this squash in my garden. It's called Sweet Dumpling. It's a vigorous vine and climbs well. Very productive. I spooned out the seeds and baked them in a small amount of water for 30 minutes. Then I stuffed them with apples, cranberries, raisins, butter, turbinado and brown sugar, nutmeg and cinnamon and baked for 30 more minutes. I reserved the tops for a cute little lid. Too much? I don't know what it'll taste like but it really smelled good while it was cooking.

I also baked the last of the bread. It turned out great but I wish I could slash the crust the way they do with artisan bread at bakeries. I use a fresh razor blade but the dough is very moist, clinging to the blade. It ends up deflating the loaf. I guess I'll just have to keep on trying.

I had the dream again last night. It's been awhile since I had it so it makes me wonder why it surfaced again. It starts out the same and generally ends the same. I'm at school. The community college usually, which I haven't seen the inside of (nor outside for that matter) for about fifteen years. I'm looking for my locker. I don't remember the number or the combination. Usually I'm late for a class. Accounting or stats or equally dreaded subject. I need my book and I know I haven't read the assignment or done the homework and I'll need the book to fake my way through. But I can't find the damned locker. Apparently it's a night class this time and I left my keys in my locker and I can't leave without them. Someone starts flicking the lights to signal time. The lockers are all different. Some are tall and narrow, others just little boxes. Some have combination locks like a safe. Others just masterlocks. Some nothing at all. Not even a number. I know the general area but can't pin down the specific locker.
People are moving past me in the dim light, heading for the stairs and the exit. Then a guy calls my name. But it's my old name, the one associated with my previous life, a life I left behind years ago. I don't recognize him and tell him he's mistaken me for someone else. He says it's not safe around there any more. He starts talking about his wife, his brother-in-law. Meanwhile, I'm scanning the walls trying to find the locker so I can leave. I think about projects that I managed to skirt around and never complete. Major projects required for school. I wonder how I was able to graduate without doing them. I pass the same people in the hallway again and again and wonder if they notice me. I find a light switch and turn them back on so I can see what I'm doing. It doesn't help. And then I wake up.
I wonder what exactly my subconscious is searching for when I have this dream. I never seem to find it.

Do they still do that? Or is it more likely the hypocritical oath? Finally got my prescription from the doctor. Dropped it off at the pharmacy, did my other errands, picked it up and discovered that the doctor only gave me half my dosage. Called the office but since it was after 5 p.m. they wouldn't answer the phone. Called the pharmacy and they said they would contact the doctor about the mistake. Called the doctor's office this morning, left a message and waited all day for a call back. Didn't get one. Which isn't surprising with this particular outfit. Called again and left another message and still nothing. The other prescription was ok but I was only given one refill. WTF? Treating a patient shouldn't include poking them with a sharp stick. This isn't the first time they've made me jump through hoops but I guarantee it's the last.

My mouth is killing me. It feels like someone has my molars in the grip of a pair of rusty, cold pliers and they're steadily pulling and twisting. Yesterday it was the upper teeth on the left side. Tonight it is the lower teeth on the left side. My teeth have been hurting a bit ever since I got my 6 month cleaning by Sweeney Todd, Dental Hygienist, about five weeks ago. Not like it is now though. Just mildly sore. Like you'd feel if a sadist just flossed your teeth with razor wire. Tonight it is borderline excruciating. And it's Friday night and the office is closed for three days. I saw a doctor on Tuesday thinking I had an ear infection. Usually when I catch a cold it presents with the teeth on one side of my face hurting like hell. Alka Seltzer Cold Plus kicks it's little viral ass if I take it early enough. Hasn't worked so far this time. Anyway, back to the doctor. I drove by the office on Monday to make an appointment because I can never get anything done by phone with them. The only opening they had was for 5:30 on Tuesday. I was ok with that. 8 to 10 Ibuprofen a day seemed to be keeping the pain in check. The guy, not my regular doctor, took down my history, checked my ears, checked my teeth and throat and told me to take more Ibuprofen. His recommendation was to up my dosage to 2400 mg a day. I got him to renew my other prescriptions and he said he faxed them over to my pharmacy. That was Tuesday. My husband has been calling both parties all week and they finally got one of the prescriptions from the doctor's office. I have to go back and pick the other one up since it can't be sent electronically. Would have been nice if they had just given it to me on Tuesday. I loathe those people. It's not that I'm a difficult patient. I'm not. Honestly. I just hate incompetence and laziness.
Crap. It hurts. Monday the plumber is coming by to fix what the tile guy screwed up. He said it would take him roughly four hours but I don't know if that is a.m. hours or p.m. hours. Guess I'll have to wait until Tuesday. I'll run out of Ibuprofen before then.

Sometimes things don't work out as planned. I had a whole different idea of what the bathroom would look like when it was redone. The "professional" tile guy screwed up my plans the moment he cut out our copper pipes. I had wanted separate handles for hot and cold...porcelain crosses. I think they look old fashioned and that certainly fits the rest of the house. He forced us into getting a single handle fixture. And then he tiled the hardware in so that we can't switch it out unless we tear out some tile first. He said that he's been laying tile for 20 some years and could do it in his sleep. In fact, it looks like he did. There's a section at the edge of the tub where he cut the backer board wrong so there was nothing to adhere a piece of tile to so he just filled the inch wide gap with grout. If I tap it with my knuckle it'll fall behind the tub. He said it was because there were pipes in the walls and he couldn't work around them. Fancy that. Plumbing in the walls of a bathroom. Go figure. We argued that there had been something there before he tore it out. He refused to redo it. He said there was no danger of water seeping through because the grout would stop it. Hmmm. So why put up concrete backerboard instead of plain sheetrock? Why spend a day adding waterproofing to the backerboard before tiling? I mean, if the grout will stop the water then why did he bother with all those other steps?

The only bright moment of the whole botched tile affair was when the asshole was leaving and a hornet nailed him in the ear. Hubris/Nemesis. Some people just don't get karma.

Got home a little while ago from the best book club meeting ever. We read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Not a particularly riveting read. I kept looking for the deep meaning that was sure to be hidden in the tale but didn't find it. It was kind of like reading a passage from The Secret. The universe conspires to make your dreams come true sort of thing. The ending also had a Dorothy Gale finds herself back in Kansas aspect to it which didn't do a thing for me. I don't want to ruin it for you. Anyway, the discussion of the book took very little time. None the less, we were able to keep up a steady banter for over two hours. The conversation swept from one topic to the next with dizzying speed. Tasers, Ted Bundy, and why Velma never had a boyfriend on Scooby-do were all covered. At one point I thought we were going to witness a cage match between two ladies who were heavily debating the lawfulness of gunning someone down in your own home. We didn't quite manage to get hermaphroditism into the conversation but it wasn't from lack of trying. Or opportunity. It was no holds barred. It makes me a little sad that we only meet once a month. But I guess it's safer that way. Like one lady said tonight, "I get the feeling we're going to end up getting arrested."

There were two cold cups of tea in the microwave this morning. And the remnants of an untoasted chocolate fudge poptart wannabe on a plate on the counter. Whoever stole into my house during the wee hours of the night at least had the common courtesy to throw the wrapper in the trash. But still, it pissed me off. I have to admit my calorie conscious eye had settled on the box of toaster pastries more than a few times since I started on Neris and India's Idiot-Proof Diet. I dutifully dined on cheese and eggs and eggs and cheese. All the while my heart ached for confections of every kind. I did well. I stuck to my guns and went without bread and spirits. No oatmeal for breakfast. No raisins or fruit. I have to say I'm completely egged out. Day after day pining for pastry. I weighed myself and the scale mocked me. Nothing changed except my attitude. Yes, I did get a wee bit bitchy there for awhile. Those closest to me could see the difference. It wasn't fair. I sacrificed so much! No rice, no carrots! Just chicken, peanut butter, and cheese. There's not a whole lot there. The kitchen creativity really took a header.
I put the kettle on for tea (without sugar....yeah, right) and noticed my little red and yellow drug basket that usually resides on the top of the fridge. Not hardcore drugs. Just my depression meds and Ambien. Hmmm. I searched my poor sleep deprived brain. I tried logic. If it had been anyone else in this house the wrapper would still be on the counter and there would be no tea in the microwave. But, there would have been absolutely no poptart shrapnel laying on the counter either. Whoever did it moved through both pastries...they come in a pack of two. In my mind I see the cookie monster cramming them in his mouth, bits flying hither and yon. He's wearing a robe that looks suspiciously like mine. Maybe I should lay off of the Ambien for awhile.
Ok, who am I kidding? It's 1:39 a.m. and I'm wide awake. I wonder if I can hide the cookies from myself...

It's a blank slate unfortunately. Or fortunately depending on your perspective. I consider it a good thing. A chance to start over. To do something new. The forum is in the rawest state possible at the moment because it is midnight and I'm knackered. But for those night owls who may run across this blog post, you can access it at www.squarepegmama.com/smf. I'll throw some bells and whistles at it later and hope that some stick but for now...it is what it is.
I'm also trying to move the Square Peg Mama blog over to our new host. I've imported the SQL db for it but apparently I screwed it up somewhere along the way. I'll keep trying as I liked that blog. It had all my garden stuff on it. Yeah, big yawn, I know. But I love my garden. It's very calming and life affirming.
Gotta get this off before the ambien kicks in... don't want to scare off any possible members. ;o) Please visit the new board, sign up, and post a word or two. But please don't try to sell Viagra or cheap cigarettes there. And if you can't access the site PLEASE post a comment here and let me know why! 'night!

I'm in the process of changing hosts for my website and blog. My old host, who was brilliant but more than I wanted to spend, is going to cut me off tomorrow at my request. My new host, who I've already paid for a full year of hosting, is down. Has been down for a couple of hours now. What extraordinary bad luck.

It's not gone. Just in the process of moving. Should be done by tonight. Hope to see you there!

I'm not quite at that magic point where I can speak without erupting like a coprolalia patient. Maybe when the vein in my neck stops pulsating.