No wonder the idiot-proof diet didn't work.

There were two cold cups of tea in the microwave this morning. And the remnants of an untoasted chocolate fudge poptart wannabe on a plate on the counter. Whoever stole into my house during the wee hours of the night at least had the common courtesy to throw the wrapper in the trash. But still, it pissed me off. I have to admit my calorie conscious eye had settled on the box of toaster pastries more than a few times since I started on Neris and India's Idiot-Proof Diet. I dutifully dined on cheese and eggs and eggs and cheese. All the while my heart ached for confections of every kind. I did well. I stuck to my guns and went without bread and spirits. No oatmeal for breakfast. No raisins or fruit. I have to say I'm completely egged out. Day after day pining for pastry. I weighed myself and the scale mocked me. Nothing changed except my attitude. Yes, I did get a wee bit bitchy there for awhile. Those closest to me could see the difference. It wasn't fair. I sacrificed so much! No rice, no carrots! Just chicken, peanut butter, and cheese. There's not a whole lot there. The kitchen creativity really took a header.
I put the kettle on for tea (without sugar....yeah, right) and noticed my little red and yellow drug basket that usually resides on the top of the fridge. Not hardcore drugs. Just my depression meds and Ambien. Hmmm. I searched my poor sleep deprived brain. I tried logic. If it had been anyone else in this house the wrapper would still be on the counter and there would be no tea in the microwave. But, there would have been absolutely no poptart shrapnel laying on the counter either. Whoever did it moved through both pastries...they come in a pack of two. In my mind I see the cookie monster cramming them in his mouth, bits flying hither and yon. He's wearing a robe that looks suspiciously like mine. Maybe I should lay off of the Ambien for awhile.
Ok, who am I kidding? It's 1:39 a.m. and I'm wide awake. I wonder if I can hide the cookies from myself...