I did some work on the shower this afternoon. It's coming along. I've decided to take the easier but more expensive premixed route. I need to go to Lowes tomorrow for another bucket of mortar. I could use a new float, too. Anyway, I got a couple of courses laid and then I scratched out the grout lines on the previously laid courses. It's really starting to look like something. I'm looking forward to getting back in there.

Did a load of laundry today and dh noticed that there was a little bit of water on the floor. I figured it came from when I added something to the load after it started but it turns out that the washer is leaking. Dh took the back off and as far as I can tell the gasket around the drum is shot. This is a front loader so taking it apart to replace it is going to be a real bitch. Dh just wants to go and buy a new washer. He's easily intimidated by machines. I think we can fix it. But who am I to throw away the chance at a brand new shiny washing machine? ;o) Maybe I'll look at a few at Lowes tomorrow.

Didn't get any seeds started today as I had hoped. I got a little sidetracked with something and didn't get around to mixing the seed starter. I need to inventory my seeds and see what's still viable. I need to clear off the growing table and bring it in the house, too. I'll probably need to change out some of the lights. Last year's plants got really leggy under the lights. I think they're beginning to lose their strength. I need to devise a way of bottom heating the seed trays as well. Last year the heat pad cooked a few. Maybe if I used cooling racks and slid the heating pad under them and set the trays on top of the racks? That would probably work pretty well. No direct contact and ambient heat. Even better if I tent the table I suspect.

Looks like I have a lot to do tomorrow. I need to polish off my beer and hit the sack. Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry. Pretty tasty. I think I'll go get a couple more 6packs before Kroger jacks the price out of my range.

Dh was able to duck the film crew this year. They managed to get to his office though and took a shot of a quote he blew up and pinned to his wall. Mat 7:7 He only has part of the quote:

Seek, and ye shall find.

Dh's boss told them not to air that shot but they did anyway. Why? Because it's purpose could be misinterpreted. While it has a benign meaning to dh, when put into the news story's context it could be interpreted by the viewers as contrivance.

I guess that could happen with any quote. People see what they want to see. If they think conspiracy, they'll find conspiracy. If they feel a statement is vituperative then they will respond with vitriol. It brings to mind another great quotation:

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
Hamlet, Act II Scene ii

or, this one:

Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me. You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass; and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me.
Hamlet, Act II Scene ii

Man, Willie had it going on, didn't he?

Got an email from an MD member seeking help with her login procedure. Seems she got locked out and the contact email for MD admin was bouncing back to her. So she decided to email me. I'm drawing a total blank on that. Why? I'm no longer admin. I haven't even visited the board for nearly a month. I wonder how many other people haven't noticed that I'm no longer there? LOL, it's almost insulting. Anyway, she had CCed the message to Colleen so I'll assume she got the help she needed.

I've been working on getting a group together to go to Magnolia Grange next Tuesday. I haven't been getting very many responses one way or the other. I really don't understand that either. People contact me and say they are looking for a group and want to meet new friends but when it comes down to brass tacks very few want to actually meet up. I joined a meetup.com group a week or so ago. A group for homemakers in the area. Meetups were set up for Wednesdays at noon. The organizer of the group never posted an event. You have to pay a monthly fee to run meetups. I don't understand why someone would create a group and then fail to follow thru on it. It doesn't make sense. I guess it's like joining a board you have no intention of participating on. Why?

I took some hot water out for the birds this morning and was rewarded with a great show. A flock of Eastern Bluebirds stopped for a drink. They were absolutely gorgeous! I was only able to count 20 but there were many more flitting around that I couldn't keep up with. I took some meal worms out to them but they aren't used to me or the backyard so none of them stopped for a nosh. They were joined by a small flock of Cedar Waxwings...my ultimate favourite. What a sleek handsome bird. I'm always thrilled to see them as it happens so seldom. There were a couple of Blue Jays, a few goldfinches, a bazillion cardinals, some junkos, sparrows, and, believe it or not, some big fat Robins.

I made sure the feeder was full of black oil sunflower seeds but they really have plenty to eat around here with all the bird friendly plants I grow. Pyracantha, Calicarpa, Juniper, dogwoods, crabapple, holly, mahonia, Nandina, Burning Bush, Magnolias... I'll put some suet cakes out later. Weird, but I didn't see any Chickadees.

The rain barrel was frozen solid but the goldfish pond is totally free of ice. I have clear plastic over it with access points for the chickens, cats and dogs so they can drink. I'm surprised I haven't had the need for the heater. The plastic is held off the surface by pvc poles laid over top of the pond. Simple and effective. I saw Big Fish the other day and a group of the babies and they all seem fine.

Most of the cats are enjoying the warmth of the house again this morning. Another reason why I was blessed with the visit. Seeing those birds really lifted my spirits.

My dh and my dd and I have been together 24/7 for the past 5 days. Tomorrow he goes back to work and she goes back to school. I will be wallowing in the blissful silence. For the past couple of nights we have been joined by 7 cats and 2 dogs as well. It's been really cold outside and the poor dogs just can't handle it. Dh was able to call Blondie in but Tuco wasn't showing up. He had to go out to his house inside the garage to check on him. Seems he wrapped himself up in his blanket like a burrito and couldn't get loose. I still can't figure out how he managed that.

Anyway, I can't wait for the week to begin. I can exercise again without being made fun of. I can go out to the library, a book store, or even Michaels without being rushed. I can listen to Steely Dan or Vivaldi without comment. I'm quite excited about it.

The shit hit the fan with dd this evening. The denouement of a long weekend of brattiness. I don't want to be a bitchy mom. I want dd to have a happy childhood. She'll grow up way quicker than I did. That's just a product of the times I'm afraid. But I fear my leniency has come back to bite me square on the ass. It's time to follow through on some of my consequential threats. It's not going to be pretty. *sigh*

It's 64.4 degrees in this room. Great for the computer. Not so great for me. I've got two pairs of socks and slippers on and my feet are still cold. I look around and wherever there's a puddle of sunlight, there's a cat sleeping in it. I remember years ago at Sweet Apple I had a southfacing glass door. I'd pull my papasan chair in front of it, Goliath would crawl up on my lap and we'd snooze. Back then I was slim and trim. You might even say semi-ripped. I worked out regularly. I did chinups on the scaffolding on the side of the house. I did curls with jugs of sand. We went letterboxing at Rockwood last weekend and I couldn't do even one chinup at the health station. Blah.
Time for Billy Blanks.

at 9:21 a.m. I gave birth to my dd. My one and only. After four excruciating hours of pushing she was finally pulled from me. I swear she was hanging onto a bottom rib or something. Stubborn and unyielding. She hasn't changed a bit.
I haven't changed much either. I'm still pushing. For eight years I've watched her grow. I look at her baby pictures and I don't recognize her. For eight years I put my life on hold. Gladly. I admit I used my baby to withdraw at times. I tried to join some of the local mom groups but found most to be filled with sequacious, exhausted mothers just going through the motions so their kids would have a social life. Honestly, does a two year old really care? Does the mother get any social relief listening to someone else go on and on about another baby's croup? And every time we'd come away with another germ that would manifest itself in gallons of snot. No thank you.
So I withdrew from real life and immersed myself in the cyberspace diaper boards. We all know how that turned out. And now...here we are. What now?
Every day my dd grows a little more independent (except for the cleaning up after herself part, of course). I can't define myself as a stay at home mom anymore. I'm not sure of my role. Housekeeper? Hah!
What now?

I think I should have chosen the "starve a cold, feed a fever" route. I'm still hacking away. I'm beginning to feel the congestion now. Dh is really starting to worry. I'm in the middle of my second week of this crap and I've gained 5 lbs. I don't know how. All I've been eating is soup for the most part. And lots and lots of tea. I'm cold all the time. I guess that's why I'm packing on the poundage. I need to go to the doctor sometime pretty soon to get some blood drawn for my D levels. And it's been 6 months since my mammogram...time to go in and see if I need a biopsy. Not looking forward to that at all.
Even worse than all of that I need to go to the DMV and get my license renewed. Joy of joys. The excitement never ends.

I've been working on the front page for the website. It's nerve wracking but fun. I gave up on all the prepackaged open source CMS projects. Way too complicated for what I wanted to do. Check it out: http://www.squarepegmama.com (Just click on the title of this blog entry to get there.)
I've really got to buckle down on this if I'm going to pursue it at all. On the one hand I am so done with online communities. But on the other hand I've wanted to do something like square peg for a long time. I just had responsibilities elsewhere that demanded my time and attention. go figure.
So much time lost but that's all spilled milk under the bridge. ;o)

Man oh Man oh Man. I just discovered that we get the DIY network on tv. I usually don't turn the tv on at all during the day. I have enough distractions already tyvm. So far I've watched a kitchen makeover show, a bathroom makeover show, and now there's a show on painting techniques. Either a lot of changes are going to happen in this house or none at all because I can't tear myself away from the tv.

Actually I'm excited to get some paint on the walls of this house. Dh likes plain white walls. They kill me. I like colour! Bold, bright colours! My kitchen is a sunny yellow that I painted using a dry brush technique. Like colourwashing without the glaze. Super cheap. When dd was really little she would "hug" the wall and say it was a happy colour. I have to say the kitchen is probably my favourite room in the house.

I'm dying to strip the wallpaper off the wall in the master bedroom, the only room in the house with wallpaper. It's rather lumpy so I'm not sure what I'll find underneath. I have to finish the bathroom first, though. That means finishing the shower tiling, the floor tiling, the vanity tiling, painting the walls and hanging the fixtures. A lot of work. I'll need to squeeze some of that in before 12. There's something interesting coming on at 12. I hope this channel shows some outdoor stuff, too. I've got a lot of landscaping planned for this spring.