-ay, there's the rub
I look forward to sleep now. I yearn for it where I used to shun it. Once I had my shower this evening all I could think of was crawling into bed and shutting everything out for a few hours. Shutting out the utter nothingness. To escape time.
God I'm depressed. I haven't been this depressed in years. I guess the last time was in Roanoke when I had no friends, a shitty job in a forklift garage, and a recovering alcoholic "fiance" who cheated on me regularly. Ahh, the 80s. What a decade that was.
I'm hoping it's just the holidays and their transient dose of reality that's got me seeking solace in Ambien rather than a more permanent feeling of isolation. But with this early onset it doesn't bode well. I feel like I'm getting paler and paler and by Christmas I will have vanished completely. I feel like a ghost already. I slip so easily from view as though I were never there. Out of sight, out of mind. I am that weird feeling you get when you walk into a room and can't remember what you went in there for. The thought was there a second ago but now it's completely gone. Must not have been too important you say and walk back out of the room.
3 comments:
Was this an ambien post too? Cuz this comment is.
I see you. Promise. :)
LOL, no that entry was not Ambien induced. did it sound f'ed up? ;o)
Meh, it didn't sound that bad. But then neither did your other one that WAS ambien induced :)
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