Captain Chaos

The mastermind of chaos and dissent just burned her lunch. Who the hell walks away from eggs frying on the stove? It's a good thing I like them crispy.

I may be an instigator at times and even a practitioner of dissent, though hardly a master. Bunny is the last person I would have suspected anyone would think I was in collusion with. She thinks I'm a whiny little bitch and that's me in a nutshell. I'm ok with that. I am insecure. I will agree on that. Envious at times, yes, but not jealous. To me jealousy connotes anger and the desire to hurt the other person. I bear no ill will at all. Towards anyone. But envy, that's another story. I envy my mother's ability to grow any damned thing she sticks in the ground. I envy my husband's ability to tune things out and not worry about the little things. And I envy Camille's charisma. Some's got it. Some ain't. I don't hate her for it. That would be stupid.

I am insecure in my ability to maintain relationships. Whenever I post I feel like Stacy. Just blathering away and I can just feel the breeze kicked up by all the rolling eyes. One liners are all I feel really comfortable with and I'm always afraid someone will take it the wrong way.

I was Queen of the Nerds back in highschool. I never ate lunch because the cafeteria was too claustrophobic for me. After awhile a couple of other loser-types joined me. Pretty soon there were 5 or 6 of us that hung out. One of the girls was so awkward and nervous she would puke under stress. It's a wonder she was able to function at all. We hung out for about a year and then she snapped out of it. Somewhere during the summer she got some confidence. I think basically once she got her braces off she got laid. Suddenly it was really uncool to hang around us loser-types. Typical high school stuff, right? So, I guess I have abandonment issues as well. Maybe that's why I felt the way I did about the admin stuff. It felt like the hookabitches were leaving me behind.

wow. I really need to work on that.