It's a start.

I've got a gargantuan bandage on the side of my neck and it itches like crazy! Ditto for the one on my back. Yesterday was quite interesting.

I went to see a cosmetic dentist. I have two teeth that are badly stained. While I said I wanted nothing invasive, that's where the money is apparently. They even wanted to put a crown on a perfectly good white tooth just to match the other crowns they were going to put on. Uhh....no. I swear, if I wanted crowns I would have gone to my regular dentist. He's $500 cheaper per tooth. Their first big sell was a device called a http://www.snaponsmile.com/. Kinda cool but kinda creepy. My first thought was Halloween vampire teeth. And the price quoted was $2,500 just for the uppers. We finally got down to the bottom rung of their price ladder. Bonding. $600 per tooth. They didn't really put a hard sell on that.

They never mentioned bleaching. Go figure. By the time I got out of there they had me feeling like a troll. The kind that lives under the bridge. Here I was thinking that those two dark teeth were my only problem.

Next stop was James River Surgical. I had a couple cysts removed. It took a long time to dig out the one on my back. The surgeon said it went much deeper than she had initially thought. It hurts now. I asked her if she saw any teeth or hair in it....being my evil twin. I guess you have to be a Stephen King fan for something like that. We joked around through most of the procedure. At one point she had to administer more -caine and that hurt like a bitch but other than that it was ok. It felt weird....the tugging and final removal. It felt like she pulled a golf ball out of my back. The one in my neck wasn't so bad. The needles for numbing were the worst part. So far. I imagine the removal of the bandage is going to be a real treat. Like waxing...on steroids.

It's hell getting old.