I'll try anything once

So, here I sit in front of my semi-trustworthy laptop with the space heater happily churning out blessed warmth around my ankles which are about the colour of toasted marshmallows right before they burst into flames. My tea is somewhat palatable for having been reheated in the microwave about three times already. And I've got a bar of soap tucked into my left sock.

WTF? you say. For real...tea isn't bad from the microwave. Not like coffee which tends to get a bit chewy after awhile. Or, maybe you meant the soap. My doctor mumbled something about it in passing the other day while pressing another prescription into my palm for symptoms relating to Restless Leg Syndrome. She also said Lupus several times but I'll go with the soap. I like the sound of it better. At first I was thinking "what a frikken wingnut" but then I decided to google it. I've heard of more bizarre old wives' tales and this one seemed pretty benign. The thing is to slip a bar of soap between your fitted sheet and mattress at the foot of your bed to quiet the urge to move your legs during sleep or while attempting to sleep. There were quite a few testimonials on it's efficacy.

The clonazepam that the doctor prescribed hasn't dulled the pain in my legs yet but it certainly has dulled my senses. I'm a drooling shadow of my former self. But now with the word IVORY imprinted on my calf...in mirror image of course. But hey. It's worth a shot. What's the worst that can happen? That I have a clean spot on my leg? That my husband makes fun of me for the rest of my life? If it stops the pain I'll Laugh aloud with him.