3.31.2004

Mama said there'd be days like this...

I'm sitting here in the pale light thrown out from the monitor, the house is quiet...quiet of all the obnoxious child and husband noises anyway. It's getting close to midnight. I've just finished my nightly glass of Alkaseltzer Plus in Orange Zest. The dryer buzzer went off a couple of minutes ago. I've still got dishes in the sink but the water is still warm. I get up at 7 a.m. Why am I still working at midnight? I can hear dd snoring softly and grinding her teeth. Dh is asleep. He was asleep in the lazyboy in front of the tv earlier...just like every night. He gets to quit work at 5. He doesn't even bother reading to dd anymore. It used to be 3 books a night. Nice long books like The Pokey Puppy or a Dr. Seuss book. Now that she is able to read a little for herself he doesn't bother much. He read one to her tonight. Probably a "Biscuit" book that has all of 30 words in it. He probably didn't even take the time to sit down to read it. Commercial break was over....time to get back to the tv.
Just as I was stepping out of the shower this evening, dh comes in my bathroom and says "Did you spill something in the hallway?" I said no. He needed me to look at the spot...right that moment. The cat had barfed. The cat has been drinking copious amounts of water so that's all it was....barfed up water. Dh told me it was my job to clean it up. My job. Holy shit. Not to be melodramatic but my life was reduced to nothing by that statement.
Today dh got his 5 yr pin at work. He got recognized for his outstanding work ethic in front of his peers. And he got a letter from his supervisors recommending him for a salary increase...which was approved. It outlined his achievements over the past year compared to his peers...he couldn't be touched. It was an awesome letter. Nearly gushing. So, he's getting another raise.
I fed him tonight. He had roasted pheasant. I washed his clothes. Stroked his ego. Listened to each word about work like it was an episode of CSI. What did I get in return? "It's your job to clean it up."